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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #birds and bees, #get stung, #birds, #humming bird, #sex with birds, #words to say

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Ratbert: "Dogbert told me about the birds and the bees." "The bee part confuses me. It seems like I'd get stung." "And as for birds, I just wouldn't know the words to say." Dilbert: "Try a humming bird."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #formula, #impress, #bird, #house, #conquered, #gravity, #waly, #hum, #weekend

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Dilbert floats through the air with a propeller strapped to his back. He thinks, "My anti-gravity formula should really impress the guys at work." Wally says, "I built a bird house this weekend." Dilbert says, "I conquered gravity." Another man says, "I taught myself to hum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #department, #machines, #filled, #bird, #bobs, #head, #three, #birds, #job

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've decided to replace your department with machines." The Boss points to a toy on the desk and says, "Your job will be filled by this little bird that bobs his head up and down." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then I said 'Ha! It would take at least THREE of those birds to do MY job!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonians, #simple, #handle, #democracy, #elbonia, #national, #bird, #condor, #frisbee

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Dogbert sits on a throne wearing a miter. Dilbert says, "I know that the Elbonians are simple people, but they CAN handle democracy if you let them." Dogbert asks, "Do you know what the national bird of Elbonia is?" Dilbert guesses, "Condor?" Dogbert replies, "Frisbee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #computer interface, #hurt user, #new sound designs, #sound of puking, #fingernails on blackboard, #bird hitting window, #disturbing sounds, #visceral reactions

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Dilbert stands behind a man with an eye patch who is working on his computer. The man says, "My theory is that a computer interface should hurt the user." The man continues, "So I designed some new sounds into our product. We've got 'sound of puking,' 'fingernails on blackboard' and 'bird hitting window.'" Dilbert looks ill. The man continues, "But suppose the user does something WRONG. Then we have the sound of a puking bird hitting a blackboard." Dilbert falls down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #bird, #Dilbert, #window, #force field

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Dogbert stands inside the house looking out the window. A bird flies into the window and bounces off. The bird knocks on the door. Dogbert answers the door and the bird says, "Excuse me, mammal. Would you please lower your invisible force field so I can fly through?" Dogbert replies, "That's no force field; that's a window." The bird enters the house and says, "Oh, worms! I'm always making that mistake. We birds can be pretty stupid sometimes." Dilbert says, "Hi, little bird. You look thirsty. Would you like some water?" The bird replies, "Sure." Dogbert says, "Don't put it in a glass; he might beat his brains out with it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaurs, #evolved, #bird, #Family, #Dogbert, #realize, #paleolithic, #era, #living, #nuisance

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Dogbert sits on the hassock and Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "I read that dinosaurs evolved into the bird family." Bob replies, "That's exactly correct, Dogbert." Bob continues, "But most people don't realize that there was a very difficult period when some dinosaurs started evolving into birds." Bob continues, "Learning how to fly was the hardest part." Several dinosaurs jump off a cliff and land on their heads. Another dinosaur straps on a helmet. Bob continues, "And living in trees was a real nuisance." A dinosaur clings to a branch as it falls to the ground. Dogbert says, "Boy, that sounds tough." Bob says, "The tragic part is that we did it just for the 'bonus miles.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #bird, #alive, #car, #resist, #old, #smoe, #blob, #little, #brain

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Dilbert drives his car. He says, "Uh-oh, what's that lying in the road up there?" Dilbert says, "It looks like a squished animal, or maybe a bird." Dogbert sits in the passenger's seat. Dilbert continues, "I think it moved . . . Maybe it's still alive." Dogbert turns his head and says, "I don't want to look . . . It could be disgusting." Dilbert turns his head back and says, ". . . Can't resist. I have to look anyway." Dilbert screams and says, "It's disgusting!!" Dilbert says, "Oh, wait . . . It's just an old shoe." Dilbert cries, "What's that little blob up ahead?!" Dogbert replies, "I think it's your brain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #humilate, #bob, #dinosaur, #humming

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Dilbert stands at the counter wearing an apron. He reads a recipe and thinks, "Add one jar of spaghetti sauce . . ." Dilbert struggles with the lid on the can. Dilbert lies on the counter trying to open the jar. Dogbert says, "Let me try to humiliate you by opening it easily." Dogbert struggles with the lid and thinks, "This definitely would have worked in 'Family Circus.'" Dogbert walks down the hall and says, "I'll see if Bob can open it." Dogbert hands the jar to Bob the Dinosaur. Bob says, "No problem for a mighty dinosaur." Bob smashes the lid against his forehead. Dilbert scrapes the sauce off Bob's forehead and into the bowl. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Will you STOP humming 'My Way.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #hit market window, #ride market research, #technical testing, #overhead, #like a bird, #hit window

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Alice, the Boss and Dilbert stand at a conference table looking at a document. The Boss says, "We'll have to eliminate a few steps in order to hit the market window." The Boss continues, "I think we can get rid of market research and technical testing. They're basically 'overhead.'" The Boss writes on the chart and says, "Gone! Now we'll hit the window!" Dilbert says, ". . . Like a bird."