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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #victime, #identity theft, #wander, #strangers underpants

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The Boss: The police say I'm a victim of identity theft. The Boss: "Now I am doomed to wander the earth without knowing who I am." Dilbert: "That would mean you're wearing a stranger's underpants." The boss: "GAAA!"

Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief

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Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #identity theft, #impostor, #insult, #investment, #money, #stealing, #guest artist, #josh shipley

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Boss: An identity thief stole my identity and opened a brokerage account. Dilbert: How did they know he was an impostor? Did he make a smart investment? Boss: That isn't funny. Wally: Did the impostor have a sense of humor?

Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief

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Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #identity theft, #internet, #racism, #reputation, #guest artist, #joel friday, #technology

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Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

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Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #idea, #moving, #identity, #theft, #introduction

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The boss says, "We're moving our data center to Elbonia to save money." Dilbert says, "That seems a bit dangerous since every Elbonian is an identity thief." The Boss says, "What?" It seemed like an exaggeration, but it wasn't. Elbonian says ,"Hi, I'm old man Podemkin." Elbonian says, "I was him this morning!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #computer, #headset, #marketing research, #social security number, #bank pin, #maiden name, #poverty, #identity theft, #technology

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Dogbert says, "Hello, this is the Dogbert Market Research Company. May I ask you some totally harmless questions?" Dogbert says, "What is your social security number, bank pin number and mother's maiden name?" Dilbert says, "What exactly are you researching?" Dogbert says, "Poverty rates. I'm shooting for 100%."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2009's comic on:


Tags #lazy, #new employee, #youth, #argument, #violence, #pain, #victory

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Wally says, "And obviously I can't do anything until our floom vendor updates the glimrods." Man says, "I'll bitspew a protopatch to your glimrod array and you can get right to work." Sometimes a young engineer challenges the dominant work-avoider in the herd. Wally says, "Oh, really?" Wally says, "Too bad the router isn't configured to handle protopatch server traffic." Man says, "I'll remotely reconfigure the router to think the protopatch server is a hexadulian data compressor." Wally says, "If you do that, you'll crash the firewall and expose everyone at this table to identity theft!" Tina says, "Stop that! I have enough problems!" Punch! Wally says, "Never go network on me, kid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #wifi, #wi-fi, #internet, #coffee shop, #public, #privacy, #security, #technology, #cyber security, #password, #identity, #identity theft, #passwords

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Dilbert: Yay, you have wi-fi! Now I can drink overpriced coffee while strangers steal my passwords. The timing is sort of a coincidence. Because I was just wondering what would be the fastest way to lose everything I own. And this fixes one of my other big problems too... I always want to share my browser history with strangers, and now I can! By the way, I'm Dilbert. Elbonian: I was Gropnorb, but now I go by Fred. Dilbert: Did a guy named Fred use your wi-fi? Elbonian: Right after he under-tipped.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hero, #suit, #identity, #secret, #super, #powers, #acquire

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I made a super hero suit for myself." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert puts the suit on as he says, "You never know when you might accidentally acquire super powers. It happens all the time." Dilbert, who is now wearing a suit with a cape and a letter "D" on the front, continues, "This way, my identity can remain a secret." Dogbert says, "I suddenly see why that's so important."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 1995's comic on:


Tags #boss's ignorance, #advantage, #impresses him, #accomplishments, #barney suit, #secret identity

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "You must learn to use your boss's ignorance to your advantage." Dogbert continues, "Find out what impresses him and list it on your accomplishments." Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss reads a document and says, "You're the actor in the 'Barney' suit?!! I love that guy!" Dilbert says, "Don't tell anybody my secret identity."