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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #catbert evil hr director, #random acts, #catness, #ink suit, #appproaching, #purring, #shedding, #curl and style

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Catbert walks down the hall thinking, "I feel like committing random acts of catness." Catbert holds out his paws and thinks, "Woman in pink suit approaching . . . Activate purring and shedding." Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "So, Alice, how long does it take to curl and style a suit like that?" Wally asks, "Do you dry-clean it or just give it a perm?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #credit, #forbidden knowledge, #change to dotted lines, #made of ink

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Boss: Change all of the lines to dotted. We're not made of ink. Dilbert: Why'd I just get chills? Boss: Me too. It feels like some sort of forbidden knowledge.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #blazers, #buying work clothes, #female, #men's clothing, #pantsuit talking, #unisex store, #unisex suit, #women suits

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Wally: I'm buying my work clothes at the unisex suit store. Dilbert: There's no such thing a unisex suit store. Wally: You always have to be right. Dilbert: That's the pantsuit talking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fighting, #fraternization, #virtual, #ignorant blob, #ugly wool suit, #suggestions, #form of questions

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Boss: Why don't you change this box to say "virtual"? Dilbert: Because I don't want it to look like it was written by an ignorant blob in an ugly wool suit. You probably shouldn't put your suggestions in the form of questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #fashion, #suit

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Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a retail clothing store, "I'm looking for a fine wool suit, in the $700 range. Something fashionable yet timeless." The clerk hands him a suit and says, "Try this $35 nylon beauty, suitable for swimming or dining out. The bell bottoms are no extra charge." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dilbert walks away carrying the $35 suit. He says, "I guess I was just born to be a fashion pioneer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #hero, #suit, #identity, #secret, #super, #powers, #acquire

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I made a super hero suit for myself." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert puts the suit on as he says, "You never know when you might accidentally acquire super powers. It happens all the time." Dilbert, who is now wearing a suit with a cape and a letter "D" on the front, continues, "This way, my identity can remain a secret." Dogbert says, "I suddenly see why that's so important."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #petimoney, #trial, #Dogbert, #suit, #hadeas corpus, #lo contendre, #latin, #club

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At the petimony trial, Dilbert says, "Your honor, I request that Dogbert's suit against me be dropped . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . On the grounds that there's no habeas corpus, no lo contendre, and no e pluribus unum." Dilbert looks up at the bench and thinks, "With luck, he doesn't know Latin either." The judge says, "Bailiff, club this man."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #argument, #petimony, #suit, #points, #tie

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The judge says, "Mister Dogbert, you made a good argument in your petimony suit against Dilbert . . ." The judge pounds his gavel and says, "But Dilbert had some good points, too . . . I call it a tie." The judge thinks, "Third tie this week . . . Maybe it's me . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #Environment, #ordered, #ink, #removed, #copiers, #printers, #pens, #research, #squids, #elmer's, #glue, #cows

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The Boss tells Dilbert and a woman, "To protect our environment, I've ordered that ink be removed from all copiers, printers and pens." The Boss continues, "Research shows that many squids can be spared by reducing our ink usage." Dilbert replies, "I don't think we get our ink from squids, sir." The Boss says, "Oh, right . . . Next you'll say we don't get our 'Elmer's' from cows."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 1993's comic on:


Tags #trial, #judge, #Dogbert, #jury, #Men, #Women, #civil suit

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Dogbert says to the members of the jury, "Before you decide who wins this civil suit, remember this . . ." Dogbert continues, "I can't legally offer you large cash kick-backs for deciding in my favor. But please take a moment to complete a self-addressed stamped envelope." The judge asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm trying to establish 'reasonable doubt.'"