Search Results for "inspirational speaker"
Share January 05, 1995's comic on:
Wally hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "Be at the 'United Charity' kickoff tomorrow." While Dilbert reads the paper Wally says, "I hired a headless man to be our inspirational speaker." Wally, Sally and the Boss are seated and a headless man stands in front of them with a microphone, making a speech. The headless man says, ". . . and that's how 'United Charity' game me back my dignity. Any questions?" The Boss raises his hand and asks, "How do you show up on a headcount report?"
Share April 03, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says into a microphone, "Our next speaker was a famous athlete until drugs and booze ruined his life." A shaky, disheveled man walks towards The Boss and says, "Shank Hew Vewy Mush." Alice turns to The Boss and says, "It's not inspirational until he stops doing those things." The Boss asks, "What?"
Share July 13, 2017's comic on:
Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.
Share July 15, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!
Share May 12, 1995's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, Alice and their co-workers, "Today we have a motivational speaker from the 'Discount Speakers Bureau.'" A slouching, unhappy man says, "You should, like, work harder . . . Otherwise you might get fired. Any questions?" Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Would we get bonuses for working harder?" The speaker says, "This must be the slow class."
Share September 05, 1995's comic on:
The boss holds a poster in front of his face. He says to Alice, "My new inspirational poster is so effective that I decided to carry it with me." The Boss asks, "What do you think, Alice? Are you inspired?" Alice replies, "I'd really have to see the front . . ." The boss responds, "Hmm . . . I don't think there's a win-win scenario here." Alice rolls her eyes and walks away saying, "Tell me about it . . ."
Share September 06, 1995's comic on:
The Boss says to Ratbert, "My inspirational posters aren't working. I need to do some animal research, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Ready!!" The Boss holds up the poster and asks, "In this beautiful scene we see a mighty eagle swooping down to capture its prey. What is your reaction?" Ratbert shakes in fear. The Boss thinks, "I think it's working." Ratbert screams, "Run for it, mom!!!"
Share September 04, 1995's comic on:
The Boss shouts at Wally and Dilbert, "Profits are down, morale is sinking; it's time for bold leadership!!" The Boss holds up some posters and continues, "So I got some inspirational posters featuring a variety of relevant nature scenes." The Boss shows the poster to Wally and Dilbert and says, "I think you can relate to this scene." Wally asks, "Am I the seagull or the clam?"
Share April 07, 1996's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Go home, Dilbert. Relax! You're working too hard!" Dilbert sits at his desk and says, "You told me to finish this by tomorrow. You said it's urgent." The Boss waves his arms and says, "Relax! Go home! Shoo!" The caption says, "Suddenly Dilbert is sucked into the 'Boss Zone' where time and logic do not apply." Dilbert's head disappears into a hole in time. Dilbert floats by the Boss's head and asks, "How can I relax AND do urgent work at the same time?" The Boss replies, "Work smarter, not harder." Dilbert grabs his head and screams. The caption says, "Mercifully, the angel of cynicism appears." Dogbert flies up to Dilbert and says, "Slap something together in the morning. He won't look at it anyway." The caption says, "The inspirational moral . . ." Dilbert puts his coat on and leaves the office. He sings, "Freedom's just another word for not caring about the quality of your work!"
Share February 08, 1998's comic on:
Dogbert walks into The Boss's office with a piece of paper. Dogbert says, "I've been hired by an employee who just resigned." Dogbert explains, "I'll be his stand-in for the exit interview." Dogbert stands on The Boss's desk. Dogbert says, "I'dl ike to begin by discussing your senseless slaughter of the english language." Dogbert reads from the paper, "....And on April 8, you were heard saying, "We have to nip that problem in the butt." Dogbert says, "Now lets talk about your stellar leadership." Dogbert reads, "Your inspirational motto is....." Dogbert shakes his fist and yells "If I want you to do something that's a waste of time, it's my perogative!" Dilbert reads, "Moving on to hygiene..." The Boss muses, " I am probaly one of those misunderstood geniuses."