Search Results for "interested"
Share August 20, 1994's comic on:
Ratbert: "I discovered I can look interested in what people say by making my eyes big." "Go ahead - say something. I'm ready." Dilbert: "I'm trying to get some work done here." Ratbert: "Work, you say? Very interesting."
Share December 12, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "It's status report time where each of you gets to prove what poor communicators you are while I act interested!" The Boss continues, "Remember to use lots of acronyms that only you understand. And speak in a whiny monotone that makes us all want to slap you!" Wally says, "I'm starting to lose my idealism."
Share November 14, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a table with a woman. Dilbert says, "Your resume looks good, but we could only pay half of what you're making now. Are you interested?" The woman replies, "So . . . You're looking for a brilliant engineer who is actively seeking a pay cut?" Dilbert says, "Well, you have to consider the many intangibles." The woman asks, "Such as my savings account if I worked here?"
Share May 17, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert stands in front of a store with a sign that says, "Tennis rackets on sale." Dogbert tells the salesclerk, "I'm looking for a new racket." The clerk says, "You're probably interested in our colorful all-plastic rackets for pathetic beginners." Dogbert replies, "No, actually I'm interested in the titanium alloy Deathstick 3000." The salesperson laughs and says, "Ha ha! As if a dumpy little pooch could handle that kind of power on the court!" The salesman hands Dogbert a racket and says, "Here . . . You can touch it, but I'm only humoring you." The salesclerk crashes through the wall. Dogbert holds the racket and says, "This is the perfect racket for those who don't take losing gracefully."
Share July 12, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert stands in front of a display case in a jewelry store. The salesclerk asks, "Are you interested in our diamond jewelry?" Dogbert says, "Let me see if I understand the concept here . . ." Dogbert says, ". . . I would give you thousands of dollars, and in return . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . You would give me a pebble you found on the ground." The salesman says, "These are no ordinary pebbles. Diamonds are very rare." Dogbert replies, "Rare? That's only because you made a marketing decision to restrict the supply." The clerk scoops some diamonds into a sack and says, "Okay, okay, you figured us out. I'll give you a free bag of diamonds if you'll go away and keep quiet." Dogbert walks on the sidewalk carrying a bag. He says, "Great . . . Now I'm a party to this ugly little secret."
Share May 15, 1994's comic on:
Tags #pretending, #personal lives, #interested, #management technique, #job satisfaction, #more money, #boost intangible benefits, #chisel away, #salaries, #families, #wife divorced, #job lowers self esteem, #attract mate, #said hello
"Hi guys, how are your families?" "?" "?" "Why are you pretending to be interested in our personal lives?" "It's a management technique to increase your job satisfaction without giving you more money." "My plan is to boost your intangible benefits while continuing to chisel away at your salaries." "But enough about me...how are those families of yours?" "My wife divorced me because you make me work so many hours." "This job lowers my self-esteem too much to attract a mate." "Tell them I said 'hi'."
Share December 03, 2016's comic on:
Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!
Share October 09, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: How's your family? Dilbert: I'm still single and childless. Are you acting interested in me because you saw an article saying it would make me more productive? The Boss: Apparently it doesn't kick in right away.
Share November 12, 2011's comic on:
Boss: I'm here to boost your morale by pretending to be interested in you as a human being. But it's probably overkill since unemployment is around 9% and you're not likely to quit. Dilbert: Still, it's nice to... Boss: That's enough! I don't want my brain to fall out of my yawn hole.
Share July 01, 1989's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a desk working with scissors and Velcro. He says, "There . . . perfect." Dilbert asks, "What's that, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "I've created the Velcro shirt pocket! It attaches to your chest hairs while swimming or showering." Dilbert looks at the pocket and says, "Hmm . . . might work." Dogbert says, "You may also be interested in my new Velcro chest hair."