Search Results for "interpretation"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #marriage, #interpretation, #annoying, #soul mate, #perceptive

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Someday, I want to get married because studies show that married people are happier. Dilbert: A smarter interpretation is that no one wants to marry an unhappy person. Tina: You're annoying. Dilbert: With any luck, your soul mate won't be perceptive.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #right on plan, #project, #bad idea, #senior mangement, #leadership, #widespread mockery, #lawyers, #purging, #gigantic failure, #forget, #mission statemnet, #literal interpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally hands the Boss a piece of paper and says, "My project is right on plan." Wally continues, "It began last week as a bad idea from somebody in senior management." Wally continues, "Thanks to my leadership, it is already an object of widespread mockery and derision." Wally continues, "As I speak, our lawyers are purging every last trace of value it might have had." Wally continues, "With luck, the project will be a gigantic failure in a month." Wally continues, "People will forget my failure and remember that I'm experienced. Promotions will follow. Yes!!" Wally concludes, "In six months I'll be dating an executive secretary named Yvonne." Dilbert says, "Good plan." The Boss asks, "Wally, have you ever read our mission statement?" Wally replies, "Yeah, but I don't subscribe to a literal interpretation."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #company lawyer, #contract, #reasonable man, #interpretation, #squash, #bug

View Transcript

Transcript

"Company Lawyer." "This contract would be subject to a 'reasonable man' interpretation." "Where is this guy? I'll squash him like a bug!" "Okay, moving on..." "It's you! I knew it!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2013's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #christmas presents, #physics, #quantum mechanics, #interpretation, #cat in box, #airholes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Merry Christmas! This gift is based on the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. There's a cat in here that's neither dead nor alive. Dilbert: Where are the airholes? Dogbert: I have control issues.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #medicine, #explaining, #Men, #growing, #wings, #side effect

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I need you to take these pills because the pharmaceutical rep is smoking hot." Man says, "It might have some side effects, but the 'Guy code' says you have to be my wingman if I ask." Dilbert says, "Apparently he subscribes to a literal interpretation of the guy code."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #relations between the sexes, #collaborate, #sexism, #water down, #interpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, I want you to collaborate with Larry. Alice: And by collaborate you mean water down my brilliance with this dullard's brain flatulence. Boss: She doesn't play well with others. Alice: If I were a man, you'd call it confidence.

Working Sixty Hours A Week

Thank you for voting.
Working Sixty Hours A Week - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #hours, #workload, #interpretation, #negativity

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.

Two Hour Summary

Thank you for voting.
Two Hour Summary - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #language, #jargon, #listening, #communication, #interpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Thank you for that two-hour summary of your project. I didn't understand any of the jargon you used, but based on the context, I believe you are saying the software will be done soon. Alice: I didn't say anything about software. Boss: I guess neither of us did our best work today.