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Asok Has Tasted The Sweet Freedom Of Uber

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Asok Has Tasted The Sweet Freedom Of Uber - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #experience, #guest artist, #introspection, #john glynn, #wisdom

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Asok: Now that I have tasted the sweet freedom of being an Uber driver, how can I go back to this life? Wally: Try looking deep within yourself, Asok. Asok: You are even wiser than usual. Wally: You'll need a flashlight and yoga lessons.

Trapped Under Rubble

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Trapped Under Rubble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #freedom, #guest artist, #happiness, #job, #misery, #satisfaction, #john glynn

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Asok: I miss the freedom I had as an Uber driver. This job feels like being trapped under rubble. Wally: We old-timers have a name for that feeling. Asok: What is it? Wally: "Better than average."

False Sense Of Urgency

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False Sense Of Urgency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn

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Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.

Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors

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Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #assist, #favor, #guest artist, #help, #helpful, #laziness, #john glynn

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Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.

Business Plan History

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Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #business plan, #futile, #futility, #goal, #guest artist, #logic, #plan, #john glynn

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Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.

Being The Best

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Being The Best - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #failure, #guest artist, #motivation, #pep talk, #success, #john glynn

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CEO: The secret to success is finding one thing at which you can be the best. Dilbert: What are you the best at? CEO: I'm the best at motivating people. Dilbert: Yay! I can't wait for that to start.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1998's comic on:


Tags #victim of curse, #20/20, #john stossel, #shows cure, #commercial, #valuable information, #old nemesis, #tv shows

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Dilbert, cursed by both Dogbert and the World's Smartest Garbage Man, sits watching television. He has Dogbert's eyes and nose and is dressed in garbage man coveralls. The tv says, "Are you the victim of a curse?" Dilbert says, "Yes, I am." The tv says, "Next on 20/20, John Stossel shows you the cure." Dilbert's ears shoot straight up and his garbage man hat flies off. Dilbert pokes his head in the doorway and says, "Ha! After the commercial I will get valuable information for people like me!" Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Well, well. It seems my old nemesis, John Stossel, was been busy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #company cellular, #dropped in john, #fish it out, #pager fell, #array of tools, #glasses, #toilet, #all needs

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Dilbert: "I need a replacement for my company cellular phone." "I dropped mine in the...John." The Boss: "Again?? Why don't you reach in and fish it out?" Dilbert: "I tried, but then my pager fell in too." The Boss: "Reach in and get them both." Dilbert: "I tried, of course, but when my vast array of writing tools fell in they kind of wedged..." The Boss: "Try it again!!!" Dogbert: "Where are your glasses?" Dilbert: "Shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #terrorists, #weapons, #fleet small drones, #customers, #infidels, #design guy, #mullah john smith

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Boss: We won the bid to build a fleet of small drones for retail package delivery. I'm not sure why they call their customers infidels, but I doubt that's important. You'll be working with their design guy, who's name is Mullah John Smith.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1989's comic on:


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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "So, since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round." Dilbert says, "Look . . ." Dilbert continues, "You can ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut." Dogbert says, "So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians . . ." Dilbert replies, "Yes . . . No, wait . . ."