Search Results for "jump"
Share April 22, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Asok, there's no nice way to say this... do this mindless task for me because you're nothing but an intern and your time has very little value. Asok: There probably was a nice way to say that. Dilbert: It didn't jump out.
Share April 29, 2011's comic on:
Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.
Share February 25, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert reads a document and says, "Dogbert, I sold the rights to my anti-gravity invention. I get to keep half of the 'net.'" Dilbert says, "I wonder what 'net' means." Dogbert responds, "Net is what you land in after you find out you get no money and jump off a ledge." Dilbert asks, "What if there is no net?" Dogbert replies, "It's gross."
Share February 28, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: I just read this great book about how to 'reengineer' our business processes. everybody's doing it. We'd better jump under the bandwagon before the train leaves the station! Im putting you in charge. The Boss: If you need any management support you know where to go,
Share March 02, 2005's comic on:
Share June 20, 2005's comic on:
Dogbert Consults "Your CEO is the worst performer in the entire Fortune 500." "Your best bet is to convince him to become a reckless adventurer." "Tell me again why I'd want to bungee jump into an active volcano?" "Because you can!"
Share January 20, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: We need to find a way to close the gap between our strategy and our capabilities. Wally: Why don't we just pretend we're good at something and call it our strategy.Sorry...Didn't mean to jump ahead.
Share August 15, 2012's comic on:
CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.
Share June 18, 2014's comic on:
Jeff had to prove everyone wrong. That will never work. It was like a reflex. He couldn't stop. That's the worst idea I have ever heard. This was his last day of life. Alice: You can't jump off the roof right now. Jeff: Uh-oh.
Share October 04, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits in the cockpit of an airplane. He says, "Attention, passenger." Dogbert continues, "I'm Captain Dogbert. This is my first flight. I'll bet you wish you hadn't cut the corporate training budget." The passenger, the CEO of the company, looks shocked. Dogbert continues, "For safety, keep an eye out the window . . . If it looks like we're gonna hit the ground, try jumping up right before impact." The passenger looks scared.