Search Results for "jury duty"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #justice, #trial, #jury duty, #laziness, #lazy, #juror, #legal system

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1990's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the mailbox reading a letter. Dilbert says, "Oh, carp!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've been called for jury duty." Dogbert says, "Me, too." Dilbert says, "Dogs can't do jury duty. How did they get your name?" Dogbert replies, "I've been betrayed by Ed McMahon."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1997's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "You've all been carefully screened for this focus group." Dogbert continues, "Each of you has a pattern of making "Loser Choices." I'll tell my clients to do the opposite of whatever you recommend." One man says, "Fun! I'm glad I skipped jury duty to be here." THe woman next to him says, "I rescheduled my liver transplant!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #patents, #mathematics

View Transcript

Transcript

Lawyer: A small company is suing us for patent infringement. We'll be fine unless the court somehow finds twelve citizens who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty yet are inexplicably able to do math. Juror: We recommend an award of whatever the square root of 22 over zero is.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Why is your project months behind?" "I still don't have the user's requirements because she's a complete nut job." "It's your job to manage that process!" "I complained to her boss, who promptly misinterpreted the problem and ordered her to work on the wrong stuff." "Then every member of her family got a serious illness. Then she got called to jury duty." "She promised to give me the requirements this afternoon." "It was too hard to come up with my own requirements, so I just copied the requirements from another product." "Is the other product similar to what you want?" "Where are you going with this?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #laziness, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "There were eleven ways to interpret the vague assignment you gave me by voicemail." Wally says, "Given the risks of choosing wrong, and my engineering oath to do no harm, it was my ehtical duty to do nothing." The Boss says, "You could have asked for clarification." Wally says, "Sounds risky."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #debates, #discussion

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Please stop researching every statement I make. Dilbert: I can't. As an engineer, it is my solemn duty to stamp out ignorance. Woman: That's not a real thing. Dilbert: See for yourself. I just Googled it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1990's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert reads a letter and says, "What a stupid waste of my valuable time." Dilbert says, "It's your civic duty. It's the small dues you pay for living in a just and free society." Dogbert replies, "Big whoopee." Dilbert says, "And you get to play God with other people's lives." Dogbert says, "Well, they should say that in the letter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1990's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Jury selection." A lawyer says, "My client is accused of killing twelve people just like you folks." The attorney continues, "The alleged victims were all part of a previous jury who doubted my client's innocence." The jury members look horrified. The lawyer says, "This jury is acceptable to the defense."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1990's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The defense lawyer says to the jury, "My client has been accused of the most heinous crimes." The attorney points to a man holding an ax and wearing an executioner's hat. The attorney asks, "But does this look like a person who could kill??" Dogbert, who is sitting next to Dilbert, raises his hand and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!!"