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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #dress code, #barrels, #lack fashion, #make up for

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to two Elbonians, "Yes, my company is so broke that our dress code is barrels..." Dilbert continues, "But what we lack in fashion we make up for in... umm..." Dilbert continues, "Did I already say lack of fashion?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anger, #debates, #more aggressive, #blaming others, #lack of success, #keeping from work

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Wally: I've decided to become more aggressive in blaming others for my lack of success. For example, you're keeping me from working right now. Dilbert: No I'm not. Wally: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND HERE AND ARGUE WITH YOU ALL DAY!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge

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Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 1989's comic on:


Tags #fashion, #different, #notice, #control, #bold

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Notice anything different, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Uh . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm wearing THREE pens, not just two." Dogbert says, "That's a pretty bold fashion statement." Dilbert replies, "I guess I was out of control."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #fashion, #suit

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Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a retail clothing store, "I'm looking for a fine wool suit, in the $700 range. Something fashionable yet timeless." The clerk hands him a suit and says, "Try this $35 nylon beauty, suitable for swimming or dining out. The bell bottoms are no extra charge." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dilbert walks away carrying the $35 suit. He says, "I guess I was just born to be a fashion pioneer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #c computer lamguage, #black hole, #light can't escape, #field gravity, #ideas, #escape, #lack substance

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"No, 'C' is a computer language, not the grade for my project." "What's happening?" "He turned into a black hole, so dense that light cannot escape his field of gravity." "Ping" "Unfortunately, only his ideas can escape the gravity because they lack substance." "What if you program in 'B'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #actual fashion, #fridays, #garanimals, #new dress code, #scrutinized, #sears

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The Boss: The new dress code allows casual clothing on fridays. Wally and Dilbert: Gulp The Boss: You'll have to make actual fashion decisions that will be scrutinized by hundreds of your coworkers! wally: Im thinking "garanimals" form 'sears"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #alice, #casual friday, #tan pants, #business casual, #unattractive, #unorofessional, #fashion opinion, #engineer matters

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Alice walks past Wally's cubicle. Wally says, "Well, it wouldn't be Friday if I didn't see Alice wearing her one pair of tan pants." Wally continues, "I love the 'business casual' look for the way it combines unattractive with unprofessional while diminishing neither." Alice responds, "Do you think the fashion opinion of a male engineer matters to me??" Dilbert enters wearing the same print shirt and pants as Alice. Dilbert yells, "Twins!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #shirts, #has either stain, #or missing button, #engineers, #not concerned with fashion, #stain with tie, #marinara

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Dilbert stands in front of his open closet and says, "I hate my shirts. Each one has either a stain or a missing button." Dilbert examines a shirt on a hanger and says, "They say engineers are not concerned with fashion, but that's not fair." Dilbert holds up two shirts and asks Dogbert who is sitting on the bed, "Which stain goes with this tie?" Dogbert replies, "Definitely the marinara."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #deputy of common sense, #apply swift justice, #lack of common sense, #chocolate gun, #irony

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Dilbert is working at his computer and Dogbert stands next to him wearing a policeman's hat, belt and holster. He says, 'I appointed myself Deputy of Common Sense." Dogbert waves a revolver pistol and says, "I will apply swift justice to those who exhibit a lack of common sense." Dilbert asks, "So, swift justice for people who aren't too swift." Dogbert says, "And I'm using a chocolate gun for irony."