Search Results for "laundry"
Share August 23, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Our new vendor is creepy. He's trying to form a relationship with me. Man: I went to your house and did your laundry. You're welcome. Wally: How creepy could it be? Man: I made us sandwiches. You're out of mayo.
Share June 23, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert looks into the washing machine and says, "I knew I shouldn't have left the laundry in the washer all night." Dogbert says, "I'll get a chisel." Dilbert takes the clothes out and says, "It seems to have coagulated into a grotesque dried-up-fiber-donut-sculpture-kind-of-a-thing." Dilbert points to the bundle and says, "I think this is a sleeve of my sport coat." Dogbert asks, "Do you want that in a size 38?"
Share October 03, 2014's comic on:
Wally: If I become a workaholic, will the company pay for rehab? Boss: What would workaholics rehab look like? Wally: I hope it involves getting paid while doing no work. Boss: That's what you do now. Wally: At rehab I think they do your laundry for you.
Share January 08, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!
Share August 31, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert walks into Wally's Laundry. The person behind the counter says, "We accidentally ruined your shirts - so we added a little glue and wrapped them around a stick." Dilbert arrives at home carrying a shirt wrapped around a stick. Dogbert says, "Granted, it was good initiative, but in my view, it was not a tipping situation."
Share January 14, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I didn't read all of the shrink-wrap license agreement on my new software until after I opened it." Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he pulls nervously at his tie. Dilbert continues, "Apparently I agreed to spend the rest of my life as a towel boy in Bill Gates' new mansion." Dogbert replies, "Call your lawyer." Dilbert says, "Too late. He opened the software yesterday. Now he's Bill Gates' laundry boy." Dogbert says, "It must be dangerous for lawyers to iron pants. They'd always have one hand in a pocket."
Share May 17, 1998's comic on:
Dogbert stands outside of a cubicle with a memo in hand and asks, "Are you the pompous airbag of the office?" Man in the cubicle answers, "Indeed." Dogbert says to the man, "I've been asked to deflate you." Dogbert continues, "My sources tell me that you combine arrogance with trivia and try to pass it off as intelligence." The man exclaims, "That's because I'm surrounded by fools who don't even know the capital of Elbonia!" Dogbert displays the memo to the man and says, " I have a signed statement from your wife..." Dogbert continues, "...that you put wet laundry in the oven last night." The man looks into his computer screen while thinking to himself, "That explains the chewy casserole she served me this morning."
Share February 22, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert says, "Yikes!" Dilbert says, "Don't be frightened by my green clothing." Dilbert says, "I'll be working at home today. Thus reducing carbon emissions." Dilbert says, "My telepresence meeting will only display me from here up." Dilbert says, "By reducing the amount of material in my garment I can use less soap and water on laundry day." Dilbert says, "And the extra freedom of movement will allow me to mouse more efficiently." Dogbert says, "This has to stop. I'll be back in a few minutes." Dilbert says, "Did you use my shaver?" Dogbert says, "Yes, and I will trim myself daily until you start dressing right."