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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #laziness, #socially contagious, #lazy vibe, #killing motivation, #angry

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Studies show that attitudes are socially contagious. I'm getting a lazy vibe from this idiot. It's totally killing my motivation. Oh, great. Now I'm unmotivated and angry, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #rich people, #discrimination stellement, #lazy, #unscupulous, #mirror

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Dilbert: I expected you to quit after you got your billion-dollar discrimination settlement. Wally: Just because I'm lazy and unscrupulous, why would you assume I'm also a quitter? Dilbert: I... um... Wally: I don't know how you look at yourself in the mirror.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #debt, #future generations, #power to lazy, #bathroom mirror

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Wally: I say we throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible until we die. Power to the lazy! That sounded more awesome when I practiced it in the bathroom mirror this morning.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #being freightened, #creepy vibe, #leadership, #obsolete, #public speaking, #sense of urgency, #thread the needle, #tech platforms

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Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #sell comapny, #very discriminating, #hate people, #laws to protect, #lazy but funny

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Dogbert stands on a desk and addresses Wally, Dilbert and the Boss. Dogbert says, "I've decided to sell the company for a huge profit. I found some very discriminating buyers." Wally asks Dogbert, "When you say discriminating, you mean . . . ?" Dogbert answers, "They hate people from this country." Wally says to Dilbert, "It's okay. We have laws to protect us." One Elbonian says to the other, "They're lazy, but at least they're funny!" The other laughs, "Hee hee." The Boss looks shocked.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #career advice, #career counselor, #seek advice, #sounds lazy, #unhelpful, #work hard, #insecure people, #self relaint

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Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. Dogbert says, "I'm going to try my paw at being a career counselor." Dogbert continues, "Insecure people will seek my advice and I'll tell them to be more self-reliant." Dilbert says, "That sounds lazy and unhelpful." Dogbert asks, "Would you want career advice from somebody who has to work hard?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #analysts, #got a raise, #growth, #lazy ones, #open book management, #smooth earnigs, #stock market

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The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "So you see, if you got a raise, our earnings growth wouldn't be so smooth." The Boss asks, "And smooth earnings are good for who?" Asok ventures a guess, "Stock market analysts?" The Boss corrects him, "Specifically, the lazy ones." Asok says, "I'm fine. Now that I understand."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 1994's comic on:


Tags #boost morale, #alpha project, #atta boy certificate, #lazy imposter, #wallyina, #indian name, #gives award, #alice gets award

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"I'd like to boost morale by presenting this 'Attaboy' certificate to Willy." "It's Wally, not Willy." "I becomes an A with a dot over it." "Wink" "Anyway, this is for your good work on the Alpha project." "Thanks, but I didn't work on the Alpha project." "Get out of my sight, you lazy imposter!" "With a little bit of luck, I can pull this out." "I give you your Indian name: Wallyina"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1999's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalists, #web based business, #lazy, #dishonest, #create, #accounting irregularities, #energy

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Wally walks into Dilbert's cubicle holding a huge bag of money. Wally has long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Wally says, "Venture capitalists gave me money to start a web-based business." Dilbert says, "Do they know that you're lazy and dishonest?" Wally says, "It didn't come up." Dilbert says, "What'll you create... besides accounting irregularities?" Wally says, "That's all I have the energy for."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #biggest customer, #missed deadline, #overnight mail, #evil and lazy, #bonus effort, #second guess

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The boss says, to Alice, "Alice, we lost our biggest customer because you missed the R.F.Q. deadline." Alice says, "That's because YOU said all overnight mail must go through your evil and lazy secretary." Alice says, "So you're probably going to apologize and give me a bonus for my effort." the boss says, "What's your second guess?"