Search Results for "lead engineer"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #senior engineer, #lead engineer, #pay is same, #disrespect you, #magic

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The Boss: I'm promoting you from senior engineer to lead engineer. "The pay is the same but people will disrespect you less." Dilbert: "Including you?" The Boss: "It's not magic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2007's comic on:


Tags #all motivation, #temporary, #lead engineer, #buzz kil, #right back at you

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Dilbert: "I got promoted to lead engineer." Wally: "Me too." Dilbert: "Wow. Buzz kill." Wally: "Right back at you." The Boss: "If you think about it, all motivation is temporary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reprimand, #ridiculous, #unwanted, #confused, #group

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A woman says, "Wally, we'd like to transition your role in this project." woman says, "During the first week, you were the lead engineer." woman says, "Going forward, you'll be in more of an advisory role." woman says, "And by that I mean we have a restraining order against you." woman says, "You're not allowed within 100 yards of the conference room." woman says, "We've changed our cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses." woman says, "And we're all having reconstructive surgery so you won't recognize us in the hallway." The boss says, "Did you accomplish anything this week?" Wally says, "Mary, is that you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #present, #software engineer, #give, #program, #product, #box, #hand, #receive, #look, #Features, #criticize, #depressed, #first copy

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The Boss says, "As lead software engineer, I give you the first unit of our ten thousand copy production run." Dilbert says, "Wow! I wish we'd designed it with the features listed on the box. That would have been awesome." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "I'll put this with the other reminders of how my life could have been excellent."

Tina Isn't An Engineer

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Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination

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Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #therapy session, #cloud, #having meeting, #tech talk, #couch, #shrink, #avatar, #engineer

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Dilbert: I was holding a virtual meeting using the cloud and... Therapist: you're already dead and you don't know it. Dilbert: um...no im an engineer. Therapist: and yet your should had a meeting in a cloud. Interesting. Dilbert: my people call it an avatar.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

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CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #honesty, #viruses, #honest opinions, #causing problems, #medical records, #engineer, #classified as disease, #vaccination

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Dilbert says, "I can't stop voicing my honest opinions. It's causing problems at work." Doctor says, "According to your medical records, you're an engineer. We classify that as a disease now." Man says, "Gaaa!!! You haven't had your pon farr vaccination." Dilbert says, "Is it warm in here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #fraternization, #friendship, #new engineer, #ginat dork, #star wars chess set, #email, #set up date, #romantic preference

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Carol: Have you met the new engineer? He's a gigantic dork. You two would get along great. I'll email him to set up a date with you. Is tomorrow good? Dilbert: Being a dork is not a romantic preference. Carol: He says he'll bring his "Star Wars" chess set.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #competition (psychology), #hate new product, #customers, #fake revenue projections, #engineer, #stronger company

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Dilbert: If consumers hate our new product, we will probably go out of business. If they love our new product, a stronger company will enter the space and drive us out of business. CEO: Tell the engineer to stop making me sad. Boss: I have some fake revenue projections to cheer you up.