Search Results for "leaves vacuum"
Share July 01, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I created an anti-Dilbert, but I don't know how to prevent him from being annihilated by matter when he leaves the vacuum." The Garbageman says, "If you don't know how to do it, and he's the anti-you, that means he knows how." Anti-Dilbert says, "Matterscreen, SPF 50. Duh."
Share May 20, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."
Share February 25, 2004's comic on:
Wally: "Every time our pointy haired boss leaves his office, I sneak in and seal an air hole." "I'm trying to see if he'll suffocate when he closes his door." "I've never had a hobby before. I can see why people like them."
Share January 12, 2007's comic on:
Client: Your network product appears to be a shoe box full of twigs and leaves. Sales engineer: Hoho! Just wist util my engineer does his magic and integrates it with your network! Make it look like another vendor's fault.
Share January 13, 2007's comic on:
Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."
Share December 03, 2007's comic on:
The boss: "Our next project is building a private shuttle to the moon." "Now if you make any mistakes, innocent tourists will perish in the vacuum of space." Dilbert: "We need to work on our rationalizations." Wally: "Is anyone really 'innocent'?"
Share September 04, 2013's comic on:
Catbert: The big tech firms say they no longer care about hiring people who have prestigious degrees. Obviously, they're trying to sucker the rest of us into hiring idiots while they vacuum up the people from the top schools. CEO: We need to get on this. Catbert: We could say we get good results by hiring accused murderers who are out on bail.
Share June 16, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Did you ever think how lucky people are that their eyes are located on their heads?" Dogbert continues, "Suppose your eyes were on your ankles; you wouldn't be able to drive a car." Dilbert leaves. Dogbert continues, "Without cars, dating would be impossible. No dating, then no marriage. Soon the species would be extinct."
Share June 29, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and the Grim Reaper sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "So since my time ISN'T up, all you can do is wait around?" The Grim Reaper replies, "Basically." Dilbert says, "Well, as long as you're here, let me tell you about my recent trip to the Fresno Raisin Festival. It all started . . ." The Grim Reaper says as he leaves Dilbert's house, "My mistake. Guys like you live forever."
Share July 07, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert drives his car and Dogbert sits in the passenger seat. Dogbert's ears are standing straight up. Dilbert says, ". . . And the doctor says it's all in your mind." Dilbert and Dogbert walk into the house. Dilbert continues, "Your ears will return to normal when you forgive me for scaring you yesterday." Dogbert puts a lit firecracker next to Dilbert's bed while he is sleeping. Dogbert says as he leaves the room, "Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge."