Search Results for "left in tank"
Share September 23, 2003's comic on:
Wally: "Every morning I rank my tasks as A, B, or C priorities." The Boss: "And then you work on the 'A' priorities first?" Wally: "To be honest, after I update the list, there isn't much left in the tank."
Share December 05, 2011's comic on:
Dogbert: I'm forming a rebel army. Ratbert: Count me in! What are we fighting for? Dogbert: You'll be fighting for social justice and I'll be scheming to become an iron-fisted dictator. In the long run, I'll be a billionaire and you'll be a stain on a tank tread. Ratbert: Please, please say there will be looting.
Share January 19, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert walks outside with Liz. Dilbert asks her, "If I left engineering and became a manager would I be as sexy as I am now, Liz?" Liz responds, "I think it would decrease your sex appeal by 17%. But that's just a planning number." Dilbert and Liz sit on the couch. Dilbert asks, "What if I got my ham radio license to compensate for the loss?" Liz replies, "Look at my arm: goose bumps."
Share June 07, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice and Wally sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "I'd like everybody to turn to the right and say what you admire about that person." The Boss turns to Alice, who is on his left, and says, "I admire your leathery skin, Alice." Alice responds, "I admire your ability to figure out which side is your RIGHT in only two tries." Dilbert faces Dogbert on his right and says, "I admire your ability to get paid for this." Wally says to Dilbert, "Despite the fact your face scares children, I admire your co-workers."
Share January 06, 1996's comic on:
The Boss pokes his head into Ted's office and asks, "How do you like being a manager, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yesterday my staff pushed me down ten flights of stairs. My soul left my body and now I'm a lifeless evil entity." The Boss says, "Just in time to do performance reviews!" Ted responds, "I couldn't have planned it better."
Share September 19, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Here's my invoice for fixing your 'Year 2000' computer problems." The Boss screams so loud that Dogbert is thrown from the office. Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, ". . . So his head spun, but it DIDN'T explode?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. I guess I left some money on the table."
Share February 27, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert tells the Boss, "I've heard that some primitive cultures had no mathematical concept of 'zero.'" Dilbert continues, "Sometimes I think you're like that when I tell you I have zero time left for additional work." The caption says, "The conversation went downhill from there." Dilbert screams, "No, that's 'Zorro.' You're NOT like Zorro."
Share August 18, 1998's comic on:
Wally sits at his computer. Tina the Tech Writer says, "Wally did review my draft of the user manual yet?" Wally says, "The characters in the examples gave me no reason to care about them. It left me empty." Wally gives Tina the papers. Tina the tech writer sits at her computer. Tina writes, "Sadly, user "B" could never love user "A" because he was a bald engineer."
Share December 27, 2000's comic on:
Wally waves his hand in front of The Boss' blankly staring eyes and says to Dilbert, "He might be faking a coma to avoid work." Wally says to Dilbert, "The only way to find out is to punch him repeatedly." Dilbert says, "Maybe we should get Alice." Wally, bunching his fists, asks, "Do you remember if I'm right- or left-handed?"
Share December 20, 1998's comic on:
The Boss leans into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We have a problem." The Boss holds up a cutout arrow and says, "I ordered these direction signs for our conference tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow in front of him and says, "But they all point to the right. I need left arrows." The Boss asks, "Is it too late to change the site of the conference to match the arrows?" Dilbert thinks and says, "Well, that would put us in the middle of a lake." Dilbert continues, "I guess we could get a helicopter to built a deep- water platform hotel...by tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow and says, "Okay, but get to bids." He turns the arrow, and it now points to the left. He looks down and says, "What?" The Boss walks out of the cubicle carrying the arrow and staring at it. He says, "Spooky."