Search Results for "link"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2010's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #duel, #angry, #fight, #send link, #winner, #arms up, #cell phone

View Transcript

Transcript

How Engineers Duel Dilbert says, "Your data are weak." Engineer says, "Make your move!" Dilbert says, "I'm sending you a link!" Engineer says, "I'm sending you three links!" Dilbert says, "I don't have time for this." Engineer says, "Winner!"

It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes

Thank you for voting.
It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #performance, #reward, #consequences, #consequence, #result, #outcome, #logic, #reasoning, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: So don't let that happen again. Dilbert: It wasn't my fault and you know it. Boss: It's easier if we don't try to link performance and outcomes. Dilbert: I'll try. It was hard at first, but now I'm totally stress-free. Wally: I just got a 30% raise.

Change To Bad Design

Thank you for voting.
Change To Bad Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #link, #traffic, #design, #color, #Opinion, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you make that link button blue instead of burnt orange? Dilbert: Yes, if you want people to click on it, and you thrive on bad design. Boss: I have an eye for design. Dilbert: And I have an elbow for music.

Neural Link To Phone

Thank you for voting.
Neural Link To Phone  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #mind control, #phone, #technology, #invention, #cognition, #thought

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: When I press this button, your brain will form a neural link to your phone. Boss: Then I can control my phone with my thoughts? Dilbert: No, your phone will control you. Boss: Hey, I didn't agree to... Dilbert: Too late. Narrator: Continued...

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #deception, #ignorance (knowledge), #cruelty

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You should build your own helicopter from a kit. I'll send you a link to the website. It's only dangerous for people who are too dumb to know how dumb they are. Boss: Is it as easy as it sounds? I have pliers. Carol: Yes!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #interviews

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I researched your personal brand online. Man: My what? Boss: I looked at your blog, your Tweets, an your Facebook page. I Googled your name and followed every link. I checked your credit, criminal record, school transcripts, and references. But that's just the external stuff. Man: Exactly. It's my attitude that counts! Boss: No. I mean I also have the results of your urine test. Oh, and apparently some of your sample landed in a DNA test kit. And that tanning bed you used last week was actually an MRI. How's your attitude now? Man: Harder to fake.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need something called a "decision." You might not know what that word means, so I emailed you a link to its definition. How did people do sarcasm before the internet? Wally: Maybe they didn't need to.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1992's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a large head says to Dilbert, "Since this is the first time you've been to a Mensa meeting, I'll explain a few things." The man continues, "When the music stops we all link arms to simulate the DNA structure of a featured celebrity." The man says quietly, "To be honest, I think a lot of it is just random."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1992's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

A large man behind a desk says to two overweight men, "We must use all of the resources of the 'Cow and Egg' lobby to counter the latest threat from the vegetarians." The man continues, "Somehow they've managed to link food with health . . . They invented a 'nutrition pyramid' chart and got schools to use it . . ." A teacher points to a chart and says, "Kids, this is a little different from the way I learned it . . ." Meat, milk and beer are at the top of the pyramid and are labeled "bad." The next levels on the pyramid are gravel, bugs; beans, tofu; fruits, vegetables; bread, cereal, grains.