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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 2009's comic on:


Tags #company, #lawyer, #stipulations, #restrictions, #humor

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Company lawyer man says, "The company owns Dilbertfiles.com and all of its I.P. Because you created it at work." man says, "So you'll need to pay us a royalty every time you use the name 'Dilbert'" Dilbert says, "How did you get in my house?" man says, "There's a loophole in your door."

Whistleblower Laws

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Whistleblower Laws - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #law, #legal issues, #lawyer, #on the lam, #whistleblower, #technicality, #loophole

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Wally: I thought you were on the run from killing government agents. Dilbert: I only killed the bad ones. My lawyer says that's legal now under the whistleblower laws. [Earlier That Day] Dogbert: It was a tad aggressive, but I think you're fine.

Stress As A Wellness Issue

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Stress As A Wellness Issue - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #loophole, #medicine, #health, #stress, #work, #medical leave, #work ethic, #laziness

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Boss: We have a problem. Our employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress. Catbert: How many of them took paid medical leave? Boss: It's just you now. I'm packed.

Stress Typo On Website

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Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #health, #wellness, #corporate policy, #stress, #medical leave, #laziness, #loophole, #typo, #mistake, #work ethic

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CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.

New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency

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New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #layout, #office, #desk, #work environment, #efficiency, #catch-22, #loophole, #laziness, #excuse

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Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.

Employees Keep Agreeing

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Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #furniture, #office, #arrangement, #laziness, #loophole, #efficiency, #management, #work ethic, #excuse

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Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

Robots In Management

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Robots In Management - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #loopholes, #robot, #automation, #murder, #killing, #productivity

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Boss: Our experiment with robots in management has been a success. Productivity is way up since they started killing the low-performing humans. CEO: But... that's murder. Boss: Only when humans do it. We found a loophole.