Search Results for "lots of holes"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #context, #contracts, #harvest organs, #holes in contract, #software contract, #signed contract, #holes in torso

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Company Lawyer Dilbert says, "I signed a software contract without getting your input because I was in a hurry." Dilbert says, "Now the software company claims they can harvest my organs." Dilbert says, "Do you see any holes in their contract?" Lawyer says, "They mention holes... in the context of your torso."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #allowing shorts, #heat wave, #cover you with tarp, #eye holes

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The Boss says, "We're rethinking our policy of allowing shorts during the heat wave." The Boss says, "Until we sort that out, I've been asked to cover you with a tarp." Dilbert thinks, "I should have fought for eye holes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2010's comic on:


Tags #pants, #hole, #favorite, #plan b, #idea, #stand on bed, #surprise, #arms out, #pants witness tracking app, #cell phone, #picture, #walk to work, #lots of holes, #take photo

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Dogbert says, "Your pants have a tiny hole." Dilbert says, "These are my favorite pants!" Dilbert says, "I'll have to go with plan B." Dogbert says, "Wear other pants?" Dilbert says, "That's crazy talk." Dilbert says, "I'll wear these and act as if the hole just happened." Dilbert says, "Everyone knows you can't go home and change in the middle of the day." Dilbert says, "I'll use a pants witness tracking application on my phone to keep track of who has seen the hole." Dilbert thinks, "If I play my cards right, I can get two or three more wearings out of my favorite pants." Wally says, "All of this just happened." Dilbert says, "Same here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #work ethic, #drink lots of coffee, #disrespect authority, #reading my goals, #before signing, #accomplish stuff, #feels good

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Boss: For some reason, your written goals for last year were "Drink lots of coffee" and "Disrespect authority." Wally: Maybe next year your goal should be something about reading my goals before you sign them. Accomplishing stuff feels good. You should try it.

Brain Escapes Ear Holes

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Brain Escapes Ear Holes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bored, #boredom, #brain, #menial

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Boss: I need you to research this. Dilbert: Uh-oh. This task is so boring that I"m worried my brain will try to escape out of my ear holes. Boss: That's not a real thing, is it? Dilbert: Ow! It's starting!

Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes

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Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #results, #confidentiality, #progress

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Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #minerals, #moons orbit, #rocket boosters, #science fiction, #asteroid, #precious metals, #afghanistan

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Dilbert: Rocket boosters will move an asteroid into the moon's orbit so we can mine its precious metals. Boss: Why don't we mine for precious metals in Afghanistan? They have lots of them. Dilbert: That only happens in science fiction.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1989's comic on:


Tags #invention, #lawyers, #money

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Dilbert and Dogbert stand on either side of a device. Dogbert says, "I think you should see a lawyer before unleashing this new invention on mankind." Later, Dilbert sits in an attorney's office. Dilbert says, ". . . I'm afraid my new invention will expose me to lots of lawsuits." Dilbert asks, "Will you advise me?" The lawyer replies, "No. Sounds like I can make more money by suing you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1989's comic on:


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Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types, "To his horror, Dilbert discovers that all of his white socks have holes. 'My goodness!' he cries, 'I shall be forced to wear black socks to work.'" Dogbert continues typing, "'If only my pants reached the tops of my shoes, then the other engineers might not notice,' Dilbert despaired." Dilbert asks, "What are you writing?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "It's a 'geek' tragedy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 1990's comic on:


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Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "My program predicts that tiny holes in the ozone could lead to . . ." A flash of lightning zaps Dilbert and his computer. Dilbert looks at his burned computer and says, "Now we'll never know." Dogbert says, "But you're getting warmer."