Search Results for "low standards"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #friend matrix, #coworker, #sit at computer, #computer expert, #frisky friend, #low standards

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker says, "I'm updating my friend resource matrix and I have a few gaps." Coworker says, "I already have a friend with a truck, a friend who gives me free tickets, and a friend with tools." Coworker says, "I've got openings for a computer expert friend and a frisky friend with low standards." Dilbert says, "I'll try the computer one."

Single Dilbert Is Valuable

Thank you for voting.
Single Dilbert Is Valuable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #low standards, #competition, #Men

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1998's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss sitting at his desk while Alice stands opposite him. The Boss says, "Alice, you'd get more accomplished if you were less of a perfectionist." The Boss continues, "I've asked Wally to work with you - to teach you how to be less perfect." Alice says to Wally, "When did apathy and low standards become positive traits?" Wally, while sitting, responds, "I call it intrapreneurial spirit."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2001's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, sitting between the boss and Dilbert, says, "My next generation internet project is right on schedule." Wally says, "It'll be done sometime in the next generation." Wally continues, "If you know any cute single women with low standards, it would really help."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"My relatives want me to have an arranged marriage." "If they find someone who's totally hot and has low standards, ask if she has a sister." "What about love?" "How can you not love that?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I'll be right back after I return these dishes to the cafeteria." "Whoa, whoa!" "Winners don't return dishes to the cafeteria." "Then how do the dishes get back?" "You must use your power of low standards." "Just place the dishes on the floor and wait for a loser with high standards." "Gaaa! Dishes on the floor!" "Once again I have to clean up after slobs!" "It is like a miracle." "Now ask her to bring you back a yogurt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers, #low standards, #standards

View Transcript

Transcript

Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: I have come to micromanage you. But only until I replace you with a robot and turn you into furniture. Dilbert: On the plus side, he has a plan and he communicates well.

Dilbert Does Online Dating

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Does Online Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2014's comic on:


Tags #dating, #internet dating, #online dating, #low standards

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!

Tube Clothing At The Bar

Thank you for voting.
Tube Clothing At The Bar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #low standards, #clothing, #jobs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I noticed you eyeing my tube clothes. You're thinking I am a man who values substance over style and it turns you on. Woman: No, I'm thinking I'll date anything that has a job. Dilbert: I have one of those!

Dilbert Meets The Mom

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!