Search Results for "market application"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #dna, #feed her, #human genome, #human simulations, #invented, #mapped and decoded, #market application, #on computer watch, #punish her, #samples, #software, #software simulation, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"

Everyone Can Beat The Market Average

Thank you for voting.
Everyone Can Beat The Market Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #investing, #investor, #stock market, #stock reserch, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, you can beat market averages by doing your own stock research. Asok: So... you believe every investor can beat the average by reading the same information? Boss: Yes. Asok: Makes you wonder why more people don't do it. Boss: Just lazy, I guess.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #joking, #market share, #increase market share, #good sense of humor

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our strategy is to increase market share. Dilbert: I'm confused. I spent all last year trying to decrease our market share. Was that effort wasted? Don't worry. Wally told me he has a good sense of humor. Wally: I'm not reliable.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #saving & investment, #stock market, #mba, #losing money, #money in gold, #shiny portfolio, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I have an MBA and yet I keep losing money in the stock market. How can this be? Boss: I put all of my money in gold because it's shiny. My portfolio doubled last year. I'm thinking of getting an MBA. How long does it take? A week?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #market, #bigger phone, #design, #market niche, #mind out of niche

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: There's room in the market for a device that's bigger than a phone but smaller than a tablet. Dilbert: So you want me to design something that is a bad tablet and an even worse phone? Boss: To my mind, it's a market niche. Dilbert: Maybe you should get your mind out of your niche.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #stock market, #good investment, #bitter, #last raise, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The stock market is up today. I wonder if this is a good time to get in. Dilbert: If you wait until it goes up even further, then you'll know it's a good investment. Wally: Are you still bitter about your last raise? Dilbert: Not as much as I was a minute ago.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #sonic, #obliterator, #buffalo, #buffaloes, #application, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nanosecond

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk holding a device that looks like a gun. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This could be my most important technical achievement yet. I'll call it the 'Sonic Obliterator.' Hmm . . . Catchy." Dilbert explains, "This baby can blast a buffalo into random particles in about half a nanosecond." Dilbert continues, "Of course, it might have limited application around the house." Dogbert says, "At least the buffalos will show us some respect."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1991's comic on:


Tags #turtle, #pet, #Dogbert, #complete, #application, #lived, #shell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Before I can consider you as my pet turtle, you must complete this application. Turtle: Okay, if that's your policy... "How long have you lived in your current shell?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #elbonians, #free, #speech, #societal, #market, #pressures, #squelch, #original, #ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Dogbert and several Elbonians sit at a conference table. Dogbert is wearing a miter. An Elbonian says, "Your Highness, the Elbonian people demand free speech." The man continues, "But don't worry, we'll still have societal and market pressures to squelch any original ideas." The man continues, "Frankly, all we want to do is make fun of your little hat."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bright, #fellow, #mensa, #genuis, #iq, #local, #chapter, #smart, #intelligence, #practical, #application

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a large head says to Dilbert, "You seem like a bright fellow; have you considered joining Mensa?" Dilbert asks, "Is that the group with genius IQs?" The man replies, "Precisely correct. I'm president of the local chapter." Dilbert asks, "If we're so smart, why do we work here?" The man replies, "Intelligence has much less practical application than you'd think."