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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #embarrassment, #process order, #middle ages, #stinging sarcasm, #faxed copy, #1950's, #happy time, #bob in procurement

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Bob In Procurement Dinosaur: I need the signed original contract to process your order. Dilbert: Because we're in the Middle Ages? Dinosaur: Ouch! Your stinging sarcasm has embarrassed me into saying I will accept a faxed copy. Are we good now? Dilbert: Absolutely. Because the 1950s is a happy time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #computer, #middle ages, #the plague

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Dilbert sits at his desk and Ratbert sits on the desk. Ratbert says, "Sometimes I think I'm not reaching my full potential as a rat." Dilbert replies, "You're right. In the Middle Ages, disease-carrying rats wiped out half of the human population of Europe." Ratbert says, "I think I've got a little temperature. Feel my forehead." Dilbert says, "Face it, your glory days are past."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #huge fee, #non practicing entity, #patent troll, #patents, #playing field, #plunge civilization, #tangle innovation, #thwart compnies, #dark ages

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Dogbert: I'm a patent troll, but you can call me a non-practicing entity. For a huge fee, I will use my patents to thwart the companies that are trying to thwart you with their own patents. Together we can strangle innovation and plunge civilization into the dark ages! Boss: That would even the playing field.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #high school, #yearbook, #ages, #mike, #voted, #succeed, #most, #beautiful, #potato, #resembles, #himself

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I haven't looked at my high school yearbook in ages." Dilbert sits on the floor and leans against the hassock. Dilbert says, "There's Mike - voted Most Likely to Succeed . . . And Lucy - voted Most Beautiful . . ." Dogbert looks over Dilbert's shoulder and asks, "Where are you?" Dilbert replies, "Dilbert - 'Most Likely to Find a Potato That Resembles Himself.'" Dogbert asks, "Who hasn't?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1991's comic on:


Tags #exercise, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #joined, #bowling, #league, #yikes, #lower middle class, #muscle, #little arm

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Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bowling ball in a case. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I joined a bowling league." Dogbert's ears fly up in surprise and he says, "Yikes! We've become lower middle-class!" Dilbert says, "Don't be ridiculous. Bowling is good exercise. I'm doing it to build muscle tone." At the bowling alley, Dilbert sees three men who have one huge arm and one little arm. One of the men says, "Hey! 'Little Arm.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #sarcasm, #nostradogbert, #turmoil, #middle east, #ratbert, #limb, #sand

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Dogbert, who is wearing a turban, says to Ratbert, "Nostradogbert predicts there will be turmoil in the Middle East." Ratbert replies, "Wow! That's quite a prediction! You're really going out on a limb!" Dogbert asks, "Is that sarcasm? I can't tell with you." Ratbert asks, "Will there be any sand involved?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #own company, #Dogbert, #trim middle management, #fire anyone, #fyi on documents, #fyi files in barrel

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Dilbert and Wally stand in front of Dogbert who is sitting at a desk. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own the company, what do you plan to do?" Dogbert answers, "Trim middle management." Dogbert continues, "I'll fire anybody who gives me a document marked 'FYI.' Those people have too much time on their hands." A manager carrying a wheelbarrow full of documents marked "FYI" asks Dilbert and Wally, "Are you sure this will set me apart from the other managers?" Wally replies, "You'll be surprised how quickly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #middle aged guy, #bad hair, #hair in pnytail, #coolest guy, #office, #raising bar

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Wally's hair grows long. Wally says, to Asok, "Watch this, Asok. I start out looking like a middle-aged guy with bad hair..." Wally says, "But simply by putting my hair in a ponytail, I transform into...." Wally pulls his hair back. Wally says, "The coolest guy in the office." Asok says, "Curse your for raising the bar for us all!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #beef eating, #just stress, #mandatory cpr, #middle aged men, #training for emplyees, #pear shaped

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Catbert says to Dilbert and Asok the Intern, "The company will be holding mandatory CPR training for all employees." Asok says, "GAA!!" The Boss looks on as Asok says to Catbert, "I am surrounded by pear-shaped, beef-eating, middle-aged men who I prefer not to touch." Catbert and The Boss look on as Asok rubs his chest and says, "Uh-oh... I hope that's just stress."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2003's comic on:


Tags #defective coworker, #trade in, #co workers with defects, #parts hair in middle, #defects yet discovered

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Dilbert carries Peri Noid into a back tunnel way. The Garbageman says, "You can't repair a defective co-worker." The Garbageman leads Dilbert into a room filled with defective co-workers enclosed in glass capsules. The Garbageman says, "The best you can do is trade for a co-worker whose defects you haven't yet discovered." Dilbert points to a man and asks, "What's wrong with this one?" The Garbageman replies, "He parts his hair in the middle; that's just wrong."