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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #old rating system, #friendlier method, #animal, #similar traits, #tyrannosaurus rex, #mightiest dinosaur, #brain size

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The Boss sits at his desk and Alice sits across from him. The Boss says, "I've replaced the old rating system with a friendlier method. Now I compare each of you to an animal with similar traits." The Boss pushes a document toward Alice and says, "I rated you 'Tyrannosaurus Rex.'" Alice looks excited and says, "T. Rex - the mightiest dinosaur!!" The Boss says, "Think in terms of brain size."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1989's comic on:


Tags #pun, #puns, #joke, #joking, #dinosaur, #dinosaurs, #hiding

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Bob: Hey... you were right. Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I'm Bob. She's Dawn. We were hiding in your house. Dilbert: Only one kind of dinosaur could hide that well... Dawn: Correct: A Nobodysaurus.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #joke, #carnivore, #robert, #cramp, #tail

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Dawn the Dinosaur points to Dilbert and says to Bob the Dinosaur, "You heard me, Robert. Eat him right this minute!" Bob says, "But . . . but." Dawn crosses her arms and says, "You call yourself a carnivore? Well, at least smite him with your mighty tail!" Bob looks sheepish. Dawn says to Dilbert, "And THIS will teach you not to mess with dinosaurs!" Bob rubs his tail and says, "Cramp . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #carnivore, #joke, #bob

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Dawn the Dinosaur says to Dilbert, "Let's make a deal. You let us continue hiding in your house, and Bob won't hungrily devour you." Dilbert replies, "That's fair." Dilbert continues, "But I'm puzzled . . . I know that Dawn can avoid being seen because she is a Nobodysaurus, but how on earth did Bob go unnoticed all this time?" Bob points to his sneakers and says, "Tennies." Dawn says, "Old dinosaur trick."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #medical expenses, #plattypuss

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Bob the Dinosaur remembers the image of a dinosaur crushed under a meteor. Bob says, ". . . But Larry the Dinosaur survived his brush with the meteor." Bob continues, "His medical expenses soared. Today we recognize Larry as the first of a new evolutionary chain of dinosaurs . . ." Bob pictures a flat animal with legs. Bob concludes, "The 'Doctor-Billed Flattypuss.'" Dilbert says, "I'm not buying this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #peter jennings, #brokaw, #tom, #Dilbert, #tennis shoes, #dinosaur

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Dawn the Dinosaur asks Bob the Dinosaur, "What's wrong, Bob?" Bob replies, "I can't deny my feelings anymore." Dawn leans out the window and says, "Not the roof again!" Bob climbs up the gutter on the side of the house and says, "I have to tell people." Bob stands on the roof and yells, "I can't tell the difference between Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dinosaur, #disciplinarian, #carnivorous, #resume

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Bob the Dinosaur reads the newspaper and says to Dogbert, "Here's a 'help wanted' ad for a babysitter." Bob says, "I could do that. Kids love dinosaurs." Dogbert says, "One problem." Dogbert explains, "Your species of know to be carnivorous." Bob replies, "I'll put 'strict disciplinarian' on my resume."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaur, #bob, #inside, #job, #sitting, #yuppie, #bigots, #called

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Bob the Dinosaur stands at a man's door and says, "Hi. I'm Bob. I called earlier about the babysitting job." The man says, "To be honest, we didn't know you were a dinosaur when you called . . ." Bob replies, "That's okay. I didn't know you were yuppie bigots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #babysitter, #dinosaur, #emergency, #scenarios, #burglary, #injury, #poinsoning, #dial 911, #complete, #blank, #here

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Bob the Dinosaur sits across from a man and a woman who are interviewing him. The man says, "Before we hire you as our babysitter, we want to test how a dinosaur like you would respond to a variety of emergency scenarios." The man asks, "What if there's a fire?" Bob replies, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Burglary?" Bob answers, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Injury?" Bob replies, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Poisoning?" Bob replies, "Dial 911." The man asks, "Giant asteroid collides with earth and triggers an ice age?" Bob says, "Oh, wow . . . I'm drawing a complete blank here . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dinosaur, #hardware, #store, #phillips screw, #fern, #invented

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Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bag full of tools. Bob the Dinosaur says, "Looks like another shopping binge at the hardware store." Dilbert replies, "I couldn't resist." Dilbert takes a drill out of the bag and says, "Gee, Bob, what did dinosaurs do before tools were invented?" Bob replies, "It was hard . . ." Bob continues, "Sometime, you should try to tighten a Phillips screw with a fern." Dilbert replies, "That's no way to live."