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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #inventions, #bend light, #around obkject, #cloak of invisibility, #make billions, #selling to military, #tricked, #ploy, #sneaky, #empty looking chair

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Wally: I discovered a way to bend light around an object to form a cloak of invisibility. We'll make billions selling it to the military. I'll be testing it over the next several months. You'll know it's working if you never see me in the office. During that time, don't sit in any empty-looking chairs unless you first shout my name and clap. WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?! Boss: What? I don't see anything. Wally; How do you like it so far?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #contract employees, #evil totalitarian, #military technology, #north elbonia, #project, #regime, #top secret

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The Boss says, "Dilbert, I hired some contract employees from North Elbonia to help on your project." Dilbert says, "North Elbonia is an evil totalitarian regime. My project will create top secret military technology to use against them." The Boss says, "Sure, but you have to weigh that against the fact that they're willing to work for free."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1997's comic on:


Tags #communist north elbonian contractors, #top secret military project, #executed for treason, #legal department, #execution instead

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Dilbert waves his arms in the air and says, "I'm a little concerned about your hiring communist North Elbonian contractors to help on my top secret military project." The Boss reads a newspaper and says, "Don't worry. What's the worst thing that could happen?" Dilbert says, "I could be executed for treason." The Boss says, "Talk to our legal department." Dilbert says, Could I opt for the execution instead?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1997's comic on:


Tags #company lawyer, #secret military project, #north elbonians, #communits, #guilty of treason, #executed, #pull a lever

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Dilbert sits down with the lawyer and says, "I'm working ona top secret military project. My boss hired some North Elbonians to help me." Dilbert says, "They're communists. If I give them any information, I could be guilty of treason. I could be executed." Dilbert asks, "Can you help?" The lawyer says, "Sure. What would I have to do - pull a lever?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #military secrets, #north elconia, #signed agreements

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Dilbert sits down with a couple of Elbonians. The first one says, "Don't worry that we'll take any military technology secrets back to North Elbonia." The second guy says, "We signed these little agreements that say we won't." He waves a non-disclosure contract in Dilbert face. Dilbert frowns. The Elbonians laugh and give each other a high-five. Dilbert says, "Moving on..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #project, #little snag, #north elbonian contractor, #military technology, #belligerent homelenad, #huge laser, #vaporize, #contract employees, #building workshop

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In a meetin, Dilbert says, "My project has hit a little snag." Dilbert says, "Our North Elbonian contracts stole our military technology for their belligerent homeland. They're building a huge laser to vaporize us." Alice's eyes bulge out. The Boss says, "Next year, remind me to include contract employees in the team-building workshop." Alice says, "The floor is warm!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #military technology, #huge laser, #create user manual, #sing helen reddy song

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Dilbert says, ",,,The North Elbonians stole our military technology. We think they're building a huge laser to use against us." Dogbert says, "Ask Tina the Tech Writer to create a user manual for them. Remind Tina how the North Elbonians treat women." Caption: Later in North Elbonia. The Elbonians line up in front of the barrel of a large laser gun. The guy in front reads "Okay... the timer is set... we're lined up in single file.. now we sing a Helen Reddy song."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2002's comic on:


Tags #doctor is vet, #military service, #rubs belly

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Dilbert says to Wally, who is still in an arm sling and head cone, "This is a guess, but I think your doctor is a vet." Wally responds, "I don't know about his military service. I just know he has great cookies." Wally continues, "And I like it when he rubs my belly." Dilbert says, "I know something you don't know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1999's comic on:


Tags #information promised, #ignored request, #squadron, #military squirrels, #plausible lie, #giant military squirrels, #secret lair

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Wally and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert says, "There's Ted. He never sent me the information he promised." Wally and Dilbert stop when they come up to Ted. Dilbert asks, "Why have you ignored my request, Ted?" Ted says, "I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels." Wally tells Dilbert, that "He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie." Dilbert screams, "I demand a PLAUSIBLE lie!" Ted responds, "Okay, maybe I WASN'T killed by giant military squirrels." Ted continues, "But I WAS imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth." Wally and Dilbert are walking away. Wally: "You can't prove that one either way." Dilbert: "He did say it was a "secret" lair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2013's comic on:


Tags #robot, #water damage, #hose, #spary, #military planes, #flying, #window, #personally, #hurt feelings

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The boss: Your warranty doesn't cover a bad attitude, but it does cover water damage. Dont take this personally, I just need to slowly kill you with a forceful jet of water. SLOOSH! Dilbert: Why is the sky full of military drones? The boss: How took it personally.