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Love Me For My Mind

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Love Me For My Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #love, #priorities, #relationships, #vanilla scented lotion, #mind

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Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #despair, #mind numbing tesk, #stop thinking

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Asok: I can't wait to finish this mind-numbing task... so I can start another mind-numbing task. I really need to stop thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computer, #control computer, #invention, #inventions, #mind, #mobile (cell) phones, #phone, #power, #brain reader

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Dilbert: My brain reader invention allows me to control any nearby computer. Co-worker: That's nothing! My phone can... Dilbert: I did that with my mind. Co-worker: That's nothing! I made you do it!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #market, #bigger phone, #design, #market niche, #mind out of niche

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Boss: There's room in the market for a device that's bigger than a phone but smaller than a tablet. Dilbert: So you want me to design something that is a bad tablet and an even worse phone? Boss: To my mind, it's a market niche. Dilbert: Maybe you should get your mind out of your niche.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #power, #brain, #mind

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Dogbert sits on his pillow staring at a ball. Dogbert says, "Sometimes I think the brain holds great powers waiting to be discovered." Dogbert continues, "It's almost as if I can make this ball levitate with pure mind power." Dogbert concentrates on the ball. Dogbert says, "Dang. Nothing." Behind Dogbert, Dilbert's chair rises into the air and dumps him onto the floor.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ratbert the consultant, #analytical mind, #business consultant, #socially dysfunctional, #brought in, #consulatant

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Ratbert the Consultant Dogbert: It takes more than a brilliant analytical mind to be a business consultant, You also need to be arrogant and socially dysfunctional, Ratbert: Does anybody know what a consultant was brought in to do your thinking? anybody? anbbody?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #beat it out, #changing mind, #engineering, #goons, #project requirements, #thoughts, #won't share, #meditation

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Ted: The project requirements are forming in my mind. Now there changing ....changing...changing...changing...okay ...no, wait ,,,,changing ...changing...done. Ted: Naturally, Wont be sharing any of these thoughts with engineering. Dilbert: I budgeted for some goons to beat it out of you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new org chart, #changed mind, #sore but free

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Catbert stands on a cubicle wall, dangling a chart by a string. Catbert says, "Come see the new org chart." Wally and Alice run toward the chart with out-streched arms. Catbert yanks the chart out of reach and says, "Oops, changed my mind!" Wally and Alice collide, producing the noise, "Wham!" Wally and Alice walk away from the collision looking dazed and wearing each other's clothes. Alice says, "Ouchie." Wally says, "I'm sore, but I've never felt so free."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #rat, #says whats on mind, #silent, #quiet, #nothing, #eye opener, #surprised himself

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Dilbert gets dressed. Ratbert stands on the edge of the bed. Ratbert says, "I've decided to be one of those guys who says whatever is on his mind." Ratbert stands silent. Dilbert is fully dressed, holding his briefcase. Ratbert sits on the edge of the bed. Dilbert says, "Still nothing?" Ratbert says, "Boy, this is a real eye-opener."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #two day workshop, #mission, #vision, #useless jargon, #illiterate execustives, #mind numbing, #job security, #ethical behavior, #better idea, #high marks, #class evalutaion

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A man says, "In this two day workshop, you will learn to embrace our company's mission and vision." Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit in the audience. The man continues, "At first glance it will appear to be a bunch of useless jargon created by functionally illiterate executives." The man continues, "But after we do some mind-numbing group exercises . . ." The man continues, ". . . You'll forget that you're underpaid and you have no job security." The man turns to an easel and says, "We'll begin by writing down all the things that 'ethical behavior' means to you." Alice says, "I've got a better idea: if you let us leave now, we'll give you high marks on the class evaluation." The man stands at the front of the room thinking. Wally hands the man his evaluation and says, "Good job. You touched me." The man replies, "You wish."