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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #mole hired, #boss, #sneak, #mole as mole, #people think, #gas bag, #bad press, #bad thoughts, #worthless, #self important

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The Boss: What have you learned this week working as my employee mole? Mole: Some of the people in this building think you're a worthless, self-important gas bag. The Boss: What do other people think? Mole: They don't know you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #employees, #meeting, #miss step, #mole hired, #reporting, #chilling effect

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RAtBert: I'm the official department mole. I'll be reporting your every misstep to your pointy-haired boss. Dilbert: Won't this have a chilling effect on our creativity and honesty?" RatBert: That didn't take long.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #intern, #mole, #secret, #undercover, #hidden, #blended, #rodent, #animal, #mouselike

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Asok: Someone said our pointy-haired boss hired a mole. Moles creep me out. Dilbert: Mole is a figure of speech. It's not literally a mole. Asok: Why do I feel tiny eyes on the back of my neck?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people

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Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #ignorant and bored, #hired, #awesome tech skills, #management genius

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Man: You're ignorant and ridiculous. I'm bored. Are we done here? Boss: You're hired. You must have awesome technical skills or else someone would have killed you by now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm a management genius or just lazy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #copyright & trademark, #inventions, #competitor suing, #albanian court, #design trademark, #block manufacturing, #shaped like rectangle, #design shapes, #irregular mole

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Man: Our competitor is suing us in an Elbonian court for some sort of design trademark violation. They're trying to block us from manufacturing anything shaped like a rectangle. Boss: What design shapes are available? Man: Only one, assuming "irregular mole" is a shape.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

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Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #destructive criticism, #dumb, #employees, #team, #hired, #meeting

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Boss: I'd like to begin the meeting by giving Dilbert some destructive criticism. Everything you do is dumb. I don't know why I hired you. I feel much more motivated now. If you feel a little bit worse, we came out ahead as a team.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #salary budget, #shouldn't have hired, #furniture budget, #credenza, #lamp, #operates as credenza

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Allen (aka the sacrificial lamb) stands in the boss' office. The boss says, "Allen, I have to cut the salary budget. I probaly shouldn't have hired you yesterday." The boss says, "Luckily, I have extra money in the furniture budget." Allan rest on all fours with a lamp on his back. allan thinks, "As God is my witness, someday I will be a credenza."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #the turnaround ceo, #work of 10 people, #strategic planning, #traitorous mole

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The Turnaround CEO Dilbert is standing in front of the CEO's desk saying, "If you let me keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategic planning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."