Search Results for "much cheaper"
Share August 11, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Both plans are technically impossible." The Boss responds, "Which one costs less?" Dilbert says, "Um... I don't see how that matters, but plan one is cheaper." The Boss reports to his manager, "Plan one is the best." The manager responds, "I'll take it to our V.P." The manager is meeting with an associate. The associate says, "I like plan two." The manager replies, "Great minds think alike!" The associate approaches the V.P. The V.P. says, "Excellent. Ask one of our engineers to present plan two to the board." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Guess what." Dilbert says to Wally, "Every day I make the world a little bit worse." Wally responds, "What's it like to make a difference?"
Share July 28, 2005's comic on:
"I'm referring you to a specialist who can treat your absent-mindedness." "His method is untested, but I think it's worth a chance." "You'll replace my brain with a cauliflower?" "They're just like brains, but much cheaper."
Share August 09, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: We're out of time and we accomplished absolutely nothing, thanks to your non-stop talking. Coworker: When do I get my trophy for participating? Dilbert: Someone was raised with too much self-esteem. Coworker: Watch me walk!
Share February 11, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting in a chair and Dogbert says, 'Do you have any 'silly putty' I can use as a fake beauty mark?" Dilbert and Dogbert ist on Dilbert's bed. Dogbert has a huge lump of silly putty on his head. Dilbert holds upa mirror and says, "Maybe you should use less." Dogbert says, "There's no such thing as too much beauty." Meanwhile, at fashion headquaters... One guy looks a photograph and says, "We got away with 'heroin chic.' What's next?" The other guy says, "How about dogs with tumors?" A big pile of photos lies onthe table.
Share July 10, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Write a performance evaluation for yourself." The Boss continues, "Shoot for about 3% raise...because that's what you're getting." Dilbert's computer states, "Dilbert's inventions will earn a billion dollars. But we think he steals almost as much."
Share September 18, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to his staff during a meeting, "From now on, this is going to be a fun organization." Wally asks the Boss, "When are you leaving?" The meeting ends and Wally and Dilbert are leaving the room. Wally's glasses are broken and he looks like he's been ruffed up a little. Wally says to Dilbert, "I had no idea that a rubber chicken could hurt so much."
Share November 08, 2000's comic on:
Catbert, standing on The Boss' desk, says to The Boss, "You can compensate for your lack of knowledge by talking too much." Catbert says to The Boss, "And don't be limited by society's expectation that you be interesting." The Boss says, "Sometimes I like to sit quietly and think up ideas." Catbert says, "Nothing good can come from that."
Share November 23, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally are both wearing aprons. Dilbert, counting money, asks Wally, "How much did you make in tips today?" Wally says, "Three breath mints and one death threat scrawled on a napkin." Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope I don't forget which breath mint came from the napkin guy."
Share May 04, 2002's comic on:
Alice exclaims at The Boss, "My review says I 'Need too much supervision.' Are you insane?!" Alice continues, "Most days I can't get your time-wasting, lard-filled suit out of my cubicle with a freakin' crane!!" Alice realizes, "GAAA!! It's a trap! You're supervising me too much right now!!" The Boss replies, "I win."
Share July 01, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Procurement. Dilbert says to a monkey, "I need to order a special cable for my computer." The monkey holds up a rope and says, "Ooh hoo hoo hoo!" Dilbert responds, "No. That's a piece of rope. Yes, I know it's cheaper." Dilbert continues, "Well, maybe it was a mistake to sign an exclusive contract with a rope distributor." The monkey crosses its arms and replies, "Ooh hoo hoo jerk."