Search Results for "names"
Share April 28, 2011's comic on:
Tags #anxiety, #confused, #emails accounts, #internet & world wide web, #might snap, #pin code, #too many passwords, #user names, #chaos, #crazy, #lose it, #mental, #breakdown, #overload, #technological
Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!
Share June 09, 2011's comic on:
Wally: This week I renamed all of the Unix servers to make them easier to remember. In phase one, the new names exist only in my mind. I won't know if they're easy to remember until next week. Dilbert: How are the new server names? Wally: I don't know what you're talking about. Next week.
Share July 18, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new 'recognition program' assigns the names of precious gems to your levels of performance." The Boss continues, "The highest level is diamond. You get a new ring at each level." The Boss hands out ring boxes. Wally asks, "Are you sure talc is a precious gem?" Dilbert moves his hand and says, "I think I saw it sparkle."
Share April 26, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert approaches The Boss and asks, "Do you have a second?" The Boss replies, "Walk and talk." Dilbert begins, "So, the supplier won't.." The Boss interrupts him with, "Hi, Pete. Hey, Tim. Hi, Barb. How are you? Not bad. Hi." Dilbert says, "Um.. Those aren't their names." The Boss replies, "My way is easier... Hi, Ted."
Share September 26, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Dogbert the consultant" Dogbert, Wally, The Boss and Alice are at a meeting. Dogbert presents a report. Dogbert says, "This is my final report." Dogbert says to The Boss, "I'm recommending big, big changes..." The Boss reads the report. Dogbert says, "Because I know you're too cowardly to implement them." Wally says, "So...It will be our fault if nothing improves." Dogbert says, "Exactly." The Boss is excitedly reading. The Boss says, "AAAGH!! We can't do all of this!" The Boss says, "Couldn't we just change the names of all our departments?" Dogbert says, "Those imbeciles! How dare they ignore my advice!" Wally says, "You're supposed to say that to us behind our backs later." Dogbert says, "I'm in a hurry."
Share June 02, 2010's comic on:
Dilbert says, "This next slide shows all of the possible names for our product that are not already trademarked." The Boss says, "Are there any that don't remind people of this general area of the human body?" Dilbert says, "That narrows it down to the names of accused war criminals, and the funnier nicknames for partnerless loving."
Share March 13, 2005's comic on:
"We need more staff for prject Cribou.' "No. You're thinking of project Caribbean." "Caribou is like project muskrat but with lower P.R.O.R.C." "P.R.O.R.C?" "Projected return on research capital." "Is muskrat the enterprise software project?" "Um... No... That would be project muskrat." "Cancel project musk ox, move the staff over to project zebra, delay panda and sdquirrel and give me a status report on probosics monkey." "We don't have any projects with those names." "How's that my fault?"
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Share September 05, 2014's comic on:
CEO: I don't like the name of our new app. You need to change it. Dilbert: Perhaps you can underscore your point by suggesting a bunch of names that are already taken. Do you mind if I think of other things while you do that?
Share May 03, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert says to Phil, "Gee, if you're the ruler of 'Heck' you must have some kind of awesome name." Phil replies, "Yeah." Dilbert asks, "Well, what is it? Something like 'King of Evil' or 'Lord of Darkness?'" Phil replies, "You can call me Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light."