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Anchor Price For Negotiations

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Anchor Price For Negotiations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #haggling, #negotiating, #negotiation, #research, #value, #worth, #anchor price

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Salesman: I'll start our negotiation by setting the anchor price at... Dilbert: Five dollars. Salesman: Um, I was going to say $27,500, but you beat me to the anchor, and now I can't help thinking the fair price is closer to $5. How does an engineer know more about the intricacies of my job than I do? Dilbert: I had five minutes and a browser.

Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday

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Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #negotiation, #irony, #appointment, #deadline, #consultant, #training

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Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1992's comic on:


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Dogbert says to a classroom full of people at desks, "Welcome to Dogbert's School of Common Sense." Dogbert continues, "I've asked you to pay tuition in advance; that way if you're unsatisfied with the school, you'll have the added negotiation leverage of having already paid." As the students hand Dogbert money he says, "And thanks, Alice, for asking if tipping is customary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new manager, #keith, #masters in business, #motivating employees, #hire good people, #optional reading, #finance and economics, #alice

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The Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to meet the newest member of my management team." The Boss continues, "Keith is highly qualified, he has a masters in business administration." Alice and Keith shake hands. Alice says, "Very impressive. They must have taught you a lot about motivating employees." Keith replies, "No, not really." Alice says, "Well . . . You probably learned how to identify and hire good people, right?" Keith replies, "That might have been optional reading." Alice asks, "Did you learn negotiation skills? Strategic thinking? Business writing?" Keith answers "No" to all three questions. Keith explains, "It was mostly finance and accounting. And economics." Alice says, "So, you're a highly qualified leader because . . . You're good at math?" Keith whispers to the Boss, "What should I do here?" The Boss replies, "In these situations I like to use swearing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #rebel negotiation, #table, #room water, #pool, #senior discount, #observational humour, #high price

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Rebel negotiations Dilbert: "Your price to not attack our Elbonian factory is too high." Elbonian: "We can give you the senior citizen discount." *snort* Dilbert: "That's just mean." Elbonian: "Sorry. I'll switch to more observational humor."

Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate

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Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #deadlines, #delivery, #management, #negotiating, #negotiation, #reorganization

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Negotiations Continue. Salesman: I can't meet your delivery deadline unless you agree to my price today. Dilbert: If you don't agree to my price today, management is likely to do a reorg soon and change its mind about this project. Salesman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It hasn't happened since breakfast, so we're overdue.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #dating, #negotiation, #rebuff, #rejection, #social media

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Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.

Bad Negotiator

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Bad Negotiator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #temperature, #disagreement, #negotiation, #compromise, #thermostat

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Alice: It's freezing in here. Dilbert: I'm hot. Put on a sweater. Alice: Why am I the one who has to change? You should wear a sweater made of ice packs. Dilbert: It's time to admit I'm a bad negotiator.

Asok Negotiates With Boss

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Asok Negotiates With Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #haggle, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #obliviousness, #salary, #trick, #eric scott

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Asok: I demand a ten-million-dollar raise! Boss: Nice try! Every idiot knows that's your opening offer to set an anchor. Asok: I will settle for half of it. Boss: You'll take 30 percent of that, and not a penny more!

Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator

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Asok Is The Only Good Negotiator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #accuse, #eric scott, #haggle, #lable, #money, #negotiating, #negotiation, #racism, #racist, #raise, #guest artist

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Asok: Did you both negotiate huge raises with our boss the way I did? Dilbert and Wally: No. Dilbert: Apparently, you're the only good negotiator in the department. Asok: Are you being racist? Dilbert: I will give you $1,000 to never say that about me again.