Search Results for "network"
Share May 28, 2016's comic on:
Share April 24, 2010's comic on:
Boss says, "Good news! We won the bid to build a nationwide wireless network!" Dilbert says, "Bad news! We don't know how to build a nationwide wireless network!" Boss says, "It's wireless. How hard could it be to not install wires?"
Share September 21, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert says, "Our new product is a useless block of wood." Dogbert says, "When customers complain that it won't make phone calls, we'll blame the network." The Boss says, "Who would want? whoa, this is cool." Dogbert says, "You'd be lucky to have one."
Share November 05, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Can you put the PX9 system on the R3 network?" Dilbert says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "But just to be clear. What an engineer can do is rarely what he should do." The Boss says, "What should you do?" Dilbert says, "Apparently, your job."
Share August 28, 2014's comic on:
Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.
Share February 17, 2015's comic on:
CEO: We think Elbonians hacked into our network. Dilbert: That's unlikely. CEO: We must respond proportionately by hacking their entire Internet. Dilbert: It's not much of an Internet. CEO: What do you need to cripple it. Dilbert: A plane ticket and scissors.
Share April 08, 2015's comic on:
Mansplaining. Man: Let me explain how our network is designed. Alice: I personally designed our network and I know far more about it than you ever will. Man: Do you know what a cloud is? Alice: It's where you'll be playing your harp in a minute.
Share December 05, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Elbonian hackers got into our network. We don't know how. Dilbert: Maybe it was the thumb drive you found on the sidewalk in front of our entrance. Alice: Or maybe it was because your password is "password." Boss: How do you know my password?
Share April 12, 2011's comic on:
Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.
Share December 25, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Merry Christmas, Sarah. This is for you. Woman: Have you met? Dilbert: We attended the same network design meeting last April. I overheard you telling someone in the hallway that you like a specific brand of makeup. So I bought a box of it and kept it in the closet for months. I came to work early today and hid behind the sculpture in the lobby until I saw you heading to the elevator. Alice: I didn't know you could gift wrap creepiness. Sorry. Just act like I'm not here.