Search Results for "never buy"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #can't deliver parts, #promised parts, #better job, #never buy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our vendors rep says they can't deliver the parts for three months. The Boss: that just means he promised the parts to some other customer who did a better job of threatening him. Dilbert: How about if I say we'll never buy from you gain? vendor: Id say you're not exactly buying form us now.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #over internet, #credit card number, #insecure

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Liz sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "I would never buy something over the internet. I'd hate to have my credit card number floating around out there." Dilbert hands his credit card to the waitress as he says, "There are a lot of unscrupulous people on the net." The caption says, "Later." Dilbert concludes, ". . . Bottom line, it just isn't common sense." The waitress returns wearing a fur coat and hands Dilbert's credit card back to him.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #customers, #buy prodcut, #credibilty, #buying services, #dont talk

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogberts Consults." Dogbert: "Never listen to your customers." "They were dumb enough to buy your product, so they have no credibility." "That reminds me: thanks for buying my services. Don't talk. Shhh." The boss: "Ooh."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #feel empowered, #forgot buy in, #poorly conceived project, #destroy from inside, #not empowered, #old system

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I want all of you to feel empowered on this project." Dilbert says, "You forgot to get our buy- in before you empowered us." The Boss says, "I'll get your buy-in later." Wally says, "It's far too late for that." Wally says, "I'm going to use my empowerment to destroy this poorly conceived project from the inside!" The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So... now you're saying we're not empowered to do what we think is best?" Alice says, "Can we go back to our old system where we're afraid to make decisions and you're never available?" Alice says, "Your eyes say, 'Yes.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2007's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #wait to buy, #new model, #sales, #negotiate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: When do you expect to come out with a new model? Vendor: In about two months. Dilbert: I'll wait and buy the new model. Vendor: Did I say two months? I meant never. Dilbert: Never? That must mean your company is going out of business and won't support this product. Vendor: What's a length of time between two months and never that would cause you to buy now?" Dilbert: One year. Vendor: Our new model comes out in a year. Dilbert: I'll wait until then. Vendor: You're the worst customer ever."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #buy things, #deception, #evil, #evil tool, #images, #lab notes, #marketing, #obliviousness, #presentation, #screen, #unique sequence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered a unique sequence of sights and sounds that makes people buy things they don't need. I recommend that we destroy all of my lab notes and rid the world of this evil tool. CEO: You never told him what marketing is? Boss: He didn't need to know.

We Will Never Forget Ted

Thank you for voting.
We Will Never Forget Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #coworkers, #death, #tributes, #morning, #beloved collegue, #never forget

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We mourn the untimely passing of our beloved colleague, Fred. We will never forget him. Dilbert: It was Ted, not Fred. Boss: Was he beloved? Wally: I don't remember. It was like a week ago.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #work-life balance, #implies life is impirtant, #work-life intergration, #big thanks, #never had a life

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We're no longer using the term 'work-life balance' because it implies that your life is important." Catbert says, "Now we call it 'work-life integration' so it's easier to make you work when you would prefer being with loved ones." Catbert says, "And I'd like to give a big thanks to those of you who never had a life." Dilbert says, "You're welcome."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #frustration, #idea, #never work, #reject hypothesis, #self doubt

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your idea will never work. Dilbert: At what point did you reject the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand how good the idea is? I'm becoming even less of a people person.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #frustration, #buy in, #cleaner, #windows don't open

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get buy-in for my project because our CEO hasn't approved it. And I can't get our CEO to approve it until I have buy-in from all of the divisions. On the plus side, now I understand why the windows in our building don't open. Boss: It's cleaner.