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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #economic policy, #utax incentives, #projects, #tax savings, #executive bonuses, #stimulate economy, #trickle on your heads, #trickle down theory, #poker night

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The Boss says, "We've decided to use the new tax incentives on the projects we were going to do anyway." The Boss says, "The tax savings will go toward executive bonuses, which stimulate the economy via the 'trickle on your heads' theory." Alice says, "It's called the 'trickle down' theory." The Boss says, "Not on poker night."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2012's comic on:


Tags #elbonian contract, #legal, #night work, #contract programmmers, #heart attacks

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Boss: Wally, I want you to manage our Elbonian contract programmers. You'll need to work at night because of the time difference. Wally: People who work at night have more heart attacks. Are you trying to kill me? Boss: Yes, and it's totally legal. Wally: Well played.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #conquer, #elbonia, #ten, #minutes, #thing, #Dogbert, #despotic, #congenial, #pbs, #last, #night, #missile, #boring, #smart

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Dogbert flies through the sky in a hover-saucer. Dogbert thinks, "I should be able to conquer Elbonia in about ten minutes with this thing." Dogbert thinks, "I'll be 'King Dogbert of Elbonia,' despotic yet congenial. Uh-oh." An American missle flies toward the saucer. The missile asks, "Did you watch PBS last night?" Dogbert says, "Aaagh!!! It's a smart missile! It's boring in on me!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #world, #worse, #been, #born, #wait, #turn, #computer, #every, #night, #electricity, #meaning, #life, #today, #bedroom, #light, #day

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Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Would the world be any worse off if I'd never been born?" Dilbert thinks, "Wait . . . If not for me, who would turn off this computer every night. I'm saving electricity!" Dilbert arrives at home carrying his briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I found meaning in my life today." Dogbert says, "You left your bedroom light on all day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #date, #lisa, #coffee at work, #wash hair, #saturday night, #dinner date, #rejected, #clean hair

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Dilbert: Lisa, I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner saturday night. Lisa: Uh...I have to wash my hair saturday. how about having coffee here at work instead? Dilbert: I'll pass. I was hoping for someone with clean hair.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #classes at night, #eleven cheerios, #gaining knowledge, #knowledge, #work all day

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"I don't know how you do it. You work all day and now you take classes at night." "ZZZ" "It's hard, but you're gaining knowledge that couldn't be obtained any other way." "Whump" "Hey! I can hold eleven 'cheerios' in my nose!" "And it's knowledge you can apply."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #women's guide to avoiding dilbert, #groups, #dissect, #Men, #boyfriend, #sentence, #ladies', #night, #tipped, #Number, #knows, #love, #romance, #ating

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The strip is titled, "Women's guide to avoiding Dilbert." The caption says, "Wear stereo headphones, look straight ahead and outrun him." Dilbert chases a jogger asking, "What's your name?" The woman ignores him. The caption says, "Comb your hair over your face to avoid accidental eye contact." Dilbert waves his hands at a woman but her hair covers her eyes. The caption says, "Travel in groups and make it clear you will dissect any man." A woman tells three other women, "I've noticed that all men have B.O. (body odor)." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." The caption says, "Drive to and from secret destinations in fast cars." Dilbert watches a woman drive by in a sports car. He thinks, "I wonder where she lives?" The caption says, "Mention a boyfriend in every sentence." Dilbert says, "Nice weather." The woman replies, "My boyfriend likes weather." The caption says, "Never attend a ladies' night activity." Dilbert stands in a bar with three other men. He thinks, "No women . . . I wonder what tipped them off." The caption says, "Never give out your real phone number." Dilbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "This only has three digits." The woman says, "Everybody knows me there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #eighteen hour days, #add person, #effoerts, #night shift manager, #behind schedule, #staus reprts, #rendered in 3d

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The Boss appears in the door of Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, you've been working eighteen hours a day. I realized I must add a person to the effort." The Boss continues, "So I hired a night shift manager. After I go home at five o'clock he'll take over and ask why you're behind schedule." The night shift manager says to Alice, "I like my status reports rendered in 3-D, but don't spend a lot of time on it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 1996's comic on:


Tags #all you can eat booth, #since 1989, #odd family, #look like, #burrito night, #just kidding, #woman, #disbelief

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Dilbert and Liz walk outdoors. Liz says, "I can't believe your father has been living in the 'all you can eat' restaurant since 1989!" Liz continues, "You have the oddest family. What did he look like when you saw him after all these years?" Dilbert replies, "I haven't seen him yet. I'm waiting for 'Burrito Night.'" Liz says, "Now is when you should be saying 'just kidding.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #training course, #night, #won't miss work, #immortal abuse, #mutual investment, #fist of death, #vending machines

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The Boss stands behind Alice's desk and says, "I'm sending you to a training course that runs at night so you won't miss any work." The Boss continues, "It might seem like an immoral abuse of my power, but I like to call it 'a mutual investment in your career.'" Alice clenches her teeth and thinks, "Must . . . Control . . . Fist . . . Of . . . Death . . ." The Boss says, "And they have vending machines if you get hungry!"