Search Results for "nose+job"
Share April 13, 2010's comic on:
Asok says, "I probably shouldn't have gone to a veterinarian for my nose job." Asok says, "But as an engineer, I value function over form, and the airflow is actually quite good." Dilbert says, "You might be rationalizing a little." Asok says, "I pity you with your inefficient nostrils."
Share April 14, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."
Share April 15, 2010's comic on:
Asok in the art department Woman says, "Is that a botched nose job, which would be tragic?" Woman says, "Or a bold artistic statement, which would be totally hot?" Asok says, "It started out as a mistake, but I'm keeping it for the improved airflow. How hot is that?"
Share April 16, 2010's comic on:
Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"
Share April 12, 2010's comic on:
Asok says, "Our health plan doesn't cover nose jobs, so I used the market system to bargain for a good deal." Asok says, "I learned that a veterinarian is just like a doctor, but cheaper." Asok says, "Do you smell a squirrel?"
Share April 17, 2010's comic on:
Asok says, "I must have fallen asleep during your presentation. I dreamed I had an animal snout for a nose. It seemed so real." Dilbert says, "If you can't tell your dreams from your reality, maybe this is your dream and you really do have a snout." Dilbert says, "Does anything seem strange or out of place in this reality?" Wally says, "Can we please do some work?"
Share June 05, 1997's comic on:
A man lies in a hospital bed with a bandage on his nose. Dogbert stands on the bed and says, "Your doctor asked me to tell you that you have six months to live." The patient says, "There must be a mistake. I'm here for a nose job." Dogbert checks a document and says, "Oh, you're right . . . I wondered why that last guy was so happy when I told him he'd have one huge nostril for the next forty years."
Share March 28, 2001's comic on:
Dogbert says to a dragon, "Bob, I'm starting a power utility company." Dogbert says to the dragon, "You'll be my Director of Marketing. Your job is to increase revenue." A frightened-looking boy is lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. A lighted lamp is at his bedside. The dragon's tail is sticking out from under the bed and the dragon says, "Normally I'm an herbivore, Billy, but when the lights go off..."
Share September 14, 2006's comic on:
Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."