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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2010's comic on:


Tags #powerpoint proboscis, #medical condition, #nose grows, #long nose, #lie, #pinocchio, #close eyes, #grit teeth, #nose through face, #pain, #sting, #clench fists

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Asok says, "It's a medical conditions called sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis. My nose grows when other people lie." Man says, "I'm very concerned and interested in your condition, and not just because I'm trying to sell you something." Asok says, "Please stop." Asok says, "It might sting when I pull it out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2010's comic on:


Tags #pinocchio, #nose grows, #long nose, #doctor, #exam, #stethoscope, #lies, #powerpoint, #proboscis, #nose through head, #pain, #medical

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Doctor says, "You have a wicked case of sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis." Doctor says, "Your nose grows when anyone lies during a business presentation." Asok says, "Sorry. The sales forecast seemed optimistic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #powerpoint proboscis, #medical condition, #nose grows, #long nose, #lie, #pinocchio, #garbage man, #Advice, #corporate whistle-blower, #nose through garbage bag

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Asok says, "My nose grows when my co-workers tell lies." Garbage man says, "Does it whistle?" Asok says, "Sometimes, a little bit." Garbage man says, "You're evolving into a corporate whistle-blower." Asok says, "Are you lying?" Garbage man says, "Yeah, I just wanted to see it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #europe, #brain, #nose, #woman, #uppity

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A woman says to Dilbert, ". . . So then I spent a year in Europe and blah blah blah blah." Dilbert says, "Hey, I think I can see your brain through your nose!" Dilbert says, "Anyway . . . You were saying . . . ?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #home, #video, #Dogbert, #godzilla, #bob, #dinosaur, #raymond, #burr, #set, #key grip, #role, #scene, #movie, #cheeseburger, #smoosh, #face, #fire extinguisher

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Dilbert sees Dogbert holding a video camera and asks, "A home video?" Dogbert answers, "'Dogbert Versus Godzilla.' We'll use Bob the Dinosaur as Godzilla and you can be Raymond Burr!" Bob asks, "Shouldn't Godzilla get top billing?" Dogbert shouts through a megaphone, "Quiet on the set!!" Dawn tells Dilbert, "Dogbert is letting me be the 'key grip.'" Dilbert replies, "Darn! All I get was the Raymond Burr role." Dogbert says, "In this first scene, Bob, you rip the arms off the 'Ken' doll while Barbie and Skipper watch in horror." Dogbert continues, "Dilbert, you'll be eating a cheeseburger and the shock waves will cause you to smoosh it into your face." Dogbert continues, "Then I come in and waste both of you with a fire extinguisher." Dilbert asks, "Raymond Burr dies?" Dawn asks, "What, no sequel?"

Your Lying Face

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Your Lying Face  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #assumption, #face, #facial expression, #business

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Dilbert: Why didn't you invite me to the meeting? Man: I could tell by your face that you didn't want to be invited. Dilbert: But I did want to be invited. Man: Tell that to your lying face.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #apple, #consumer prodcuts, #lust after products, #magic, #magic dust, #nose, #smell, #technology

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Dogbert: This is the magic dust that Apple puts on all of its consumer products to make you lust after them. I wouldn't sniff it if I were you. Terrific. Now I feel compelled to get a nose like yours for no rational reason.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #office equipment, #swine, #information services, #upgraded network secuirty, #facila recognition, #temporary passwrod, #face, #extensive plastic surgery, #to log on

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. Dilbert: I know. We've worked together for years. Mordac: And it still sounds awesome when I say it. Anyway, I up-graded our network security to include facial recognition. Your temporary password is this face. You'll need extensive plastic surgery to log on the first time. Dilbert: You've gone too far, Mordac! I will escalate this! Boss: I wish we'd had this conversation a week ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #computer, #Dogbert, #crash, #six, #bucks, #diving, #sky diving, #lessons, #cheap

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if Dogbert is enjoying his sky diving lessons." Dogbert crashes through the ceiling and lands on the desk. Dogbert lies face-down on the desk and says, "Boy . . . No wonder they only charge six bucks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #lab rat, #macaroni, #cheese, #through, #wall, #doctor, #die, #over the wall

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A lab rat thinks, "I hate my life." The rat thinks, "If I eat one more ton of macaroni and cheese I think I'll die . . . Of course, that may be the point." The rat thinks, "Tonight I'm going 'over the wall.' Wait . . . I'm a rat . . . I'll go THROUGH the wall."