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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2011's comic on:


Tags #anxiety, #frustration, #implications, #offend by complimenting, #rational

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Tina: You offended me when you said Ted did a great job. It implied that I'm important. Dilbert: Are you saying I can offend you by complimenting other people? Tina: Exactly. Dilbert: Wally, you're very rational today. Wally: Thank you!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #meeting in elbonia, #take a class, #culture, #accidentally offend, #hello, #gestures, #2 meaning gestures

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"Wally, I want you to attend a meeting for me... It's in Elbonia." "First, you'll need to take a class on their culture so you won't accidently offend them." "This gesture either means "Hello" or "I'd like to see your mittens on my bedroom floor , baby.""

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2014's comic on:


Tags #complimenting people, #flattery, #indirect, #made car, #make his own car, #new car, #parking lot

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Dilbert: I saw you new car in the parking lot. It's nice. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I'm complimenting the people who made your car, not you. Topper: Well, I guess only one of us knows how to make his own car.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1998's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #deep mud, #misogyny, #mud weasels, #kick people, #complimenting, #screaming

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Alice says to Dilbert and Wally, "I'm off to Elbonia, the land of waist-deep mud and misogyny." Wally leans back in his chair and says, "On the plus side, you can kick people and blame it on the mud weasels." Alice stands in the mud with a couple of Elbonians. One says, "What's wrong, Yugi? One second you are comlimenting this chick, next second screaming." Alice says, "Mud weasel." Yugi is doubled over in pain.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2007's comic on:


Tags #passion for job, #ceo's visit, #meeting, #condescending, #rented mules, #intimidate, #corproartions, #afford luxury items, #ping pong table, #no raise, #offend, #belitte, #pay dosparity, #slavery, #business

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CEO Visit CEO: "It's important that you have a passion for your job." "For example, my passion involves working you like rented mules so I can afford to purchase luxury items." "I bought a ping-pong table with the raise you didn't get."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #email, #insulting, #intelligence, #iq, #trickery, #work ethic, #obession, #addiction, #work smarter, #text, #efficiency

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Wally: Studies show that continually checking email lowers your functional I.Q. You advised me to "work smarter," so I plan to ignore all of your email from now on. Boss: What if I text you instead? Wally: That's the sort of question that one asks after checking email too often. Boss: Did you just insult me? Wally: That answer is in your email. Boss: Where is it? I don't see any email from you. But I see six new emails that look important. What were we talking about. Wally: You were complimenting me on my efficiency.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #catch-22, #compliment, #compliments, #insult, #insulting, #work ethic, #technical skills, #perfect attendance, #risk averse, #no social life, #irrational needs, #code writing puppet

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Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!

Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing

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Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money

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Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.