Search Results for "ominous list"
Share April 21, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Dogbert Consults" Sogbert stands on the boss's desk. DOgbert says, "Eliminate phone support for your product. Provide help only via the internet." Dogbert's tail wags and he says, "Then discourage people by making them answer an ominous list of personal questions." Man looks terrified in front of his computer the computer screen reads, "1. What is your home address? 2. When do you shower?"
Share August 25, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Big stubborn guy" Dan says, "We should remove the contract employees from our e-mail bulletin list." Dilbert says, "Um.. they need that information to do thier jobs, and there's no incremental cost." Dilbert says, "This is when you agree with me and we move on eith our lives." Dan says, "I will fight you to the end of the earth!"
Share September 22, 2000's comic on:
Sitting at his computer, Dilbert thinks to himself "This to-do list will make me more efficient." Dilbert continues thinking to himself, "I have three fake emergencies, two doomed projects, four unnecessary meetings..." At home, Dilbert says to Dogbert "I figured out why you never ask me how my day day went." Dogbert replies, shooing Dilbert away with one hand, "Off you go."
Share January 18, 2001's comic on:
THE AD AGENCY: The Boss asks Pete Peters of the Creative Team, "Is it wise to insult all of these minority groups in our commercial?" Pete says to The Boss, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" The Boss asks, "Does our company have to spit on a flag?" Pete says, "That's it; you're on my 'difficult client' list now."
Share April 05, 2001's comic on:
Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Wow! I've been selected for the 'Who's Incredible' list!" Dilbert continues to Dogbert, "For seventy-five dollars I can buy a leather-bound book with my name in it!" Dilbert says, "Ha! And people said I was too gullible to be a success!" Dogbert reads the piece of paper, "Dear Occupant."
Share August 22, 2001's comic on:
The dark haired woman from the gym and Dilbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert is sitting on the arm rest next to them. The woman says, "I made a list of all the ways you need to improve in order to keep dating me." Dilbert reads the list aloud: "Lose forty pounds, new wardrobe, new haircut, new car, new odor..." The woman interupts, "But your dog is perfect. How'd that happen?" Dogbert replies, "When can you move in?"
Share October 27, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert and the troll are walking. Dilbert says to the troll, "So, if all trolls were once people, that means some people are already changing and don't know it." The troll replies, "Exactly." The troll opens a book and says, "This is the list of people we're waiting for." Dilbert sings to Wally, "I know something you don't know." Wally touches his head and says, "I think I'm getting pimples on my head."
Share January 09, 2000's comic on:
Ted, Dilbert, Alice and the boss are sitting in a meeting. Ted says: "I quantified our marketing strategy because you insisted." Ted holds up a sheet of paper with lists on it and says: "I listed the pros and cons on this sheet." Ted says to Dilbert: "Then I added up the columns." Ted puts the sheet of paper on the table and says: "The pros outnumber the cons, so we're going forward." Dilbert has the sheet of paper in his hands now and says to Ted: "Let's see. Your cons include...unhealthy and unprofitable. Dilbert keeps reading from the sheet of paper and says: "Your pros are...waffles, eggs, bananas and milk." Ted says to Dilbert: "Oops. That might be my grocery list." Ted gets angry and shakes his arm with the sheet of paper up and down and screams to Dilbert: "You fool! I told you quantification never works!!"
Share August 06, 2002's comic on:
An employee asks Carol, "May I use your three-hole punch?" Carol waves her hand and exclaims, "Whoa Whoa Whoa!" Carol says, "You can't come waltzing into this department, using our stuff and leaving your holes." The employee says, "I'll clean up the holes." Carol hands him a piece of paper, "I want you to whack the people on this list."
Share August 22, 2002's comic on:
Wally is holding his letter up to the light. Dilbert says, "I've never seen anyone get this excited over a piece of junk mail." Wally responds, "I've never been on a mailing list before. This letter is a validation of my existence." Dilbert says, "It's not addressed to you." Wally replies, "I'll grant you that it's not a clean win."