Search Results for "open-minded"
Share March 09, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I need you to be open-minded about this idea." The Boss says, "Oh, really?" The Boss says, "That's the sort of thing people say before they describe the worst idea in the history of the world." Dilbert says, "My idea is to not give me a raise." The Boss says, "I'm hating you a little extra."
Share May 14, 2015's comic on:
Alice: Is there any way to disagree with your new strategy without making you angry? Boss: Blah blah I value all opinions. Blah blah open door policy. Blah blah dissenting opinions are good. Alice: None of that sounded sincere. Boss: Nailed it.
Share April 14, 1991's comic on:
The strip is titled, "Dogbert's guide to your tax dollars." A vacuum cleaner sucks up dollar bills. Dogbert says, "Did you ever wonder how all that tax money gets spent? Roll the tape." The caption says, "Inventing secret things." Two scientists look at a device. One of them says, "It doesn't look like much, but it'll smart like crazy if you sit on it." The caption says, "Sending secret things into space." The other scientist says, "Maybe we'd better classify it secret and send it into space with the other stuff." The caption says, "Education." A teacher says, "Sex will kill you, food will kill you, smoking will kill you, alcohol will kill you, drugs will kill you . . ." The children sitting at their school desks look frightened. The caption says, "Art grants for things you aren't open-minded enough to appreciate." Dilbert looks at a shoe sitting on a pedestal. The artist says, "I call it 'The Bug I Hated.'" The caption says, "Advanced health care." Two doctors stand next to a bed where a skeleton lies. One physician says, "You were right, Benson. X-rays and microwaves are not the same thing." The caption says, "Paying Congress." A senator says, "Our raises came through!" Another says, "I think I'll send myself a thank-you note!"
Share August 02, 1997's comic on:
The Boss walks up to Dilbert followed by an Elbonian. He says, "You'll need to share your cubicle with the Elbonian audit team until we get some more space." The Boss is surrounded by three elbonians. He says, "This is their holy week so I expect you to be open minded and flexible." Dilbert and the Elbonians are sqeezed into Dilbert's cubicle. Dilbert asks, "How do you celebrate the holy week?" an Elbonian answers, "Wedgies, mostly."
Share May 31, 2011's comic on:
Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.
Share June 22, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: I can't get buy-in for my project because our CEO hasn't approved it. And I can't get our CEO to approve it until I have buy-in from all of the divisions. On the plus side, now I understand why the windows in our building don't open. Boss: It's cleaner.
Share September 30, 2011's comic on:
Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?
Share February 12, 1999's comic on:
Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert sits at a computer and talks on the phone. Dogbert says, "I'll need your serial number, which is conveniently located inside the unit. The man on the other end of the phone says, "The sticker says my warranty will be void if I open the case." DOgbert says, "Well, call me if anything changes."
Share April 11, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert, Alice and Wally are sitting together eating lunch. Dilbert asks them, "Did I ever tell you about the time I went skydiving?" Alice replies, "That sounds like a false memory planted by Dogbert." Dilbert throws one hand in the air in denial as he says "Blah!" Dilbert says, "My parachute didn't open. Luckily, I landed on a trampoline and bounced back into the plane."