Search Results for "privacy"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #company's, #privacy, #johnson, #cheetos, #diet pepsi, #grass, #skirts, #lawnmower

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Wally, "Don't you think the company's drug testing policy is a violation of our privacy?" Wally replies, "I don't do drugs." The Boss reads a report and says, "Johnson, your blood test results are in. Looks like you live on Cheetos and Diet Pepsi . . . Your wife doesn't love you . . . And whoa . . What's this?" The Boss continues, "Apparently, you like to dress in grass skirts and make fun of the lawnmower."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #eliminate privacy, #dignity, #share hotel rooms, #business trips, #tandem showering policy

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director Catbert typing at computer terminal. Catbert types, "Consistent with our effort to eliminate privacy and dignity..." Dilbert at his computer terminal reading what Catbert is typing. Catbert's text reads, "...employees must share hotel rooms on all business trips." Catbert at his desk in front of his computer thinking, "After they get used to this, I'll introduce the tandem showering policy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2010's comic on:


Tags #evil director of human resources, #email, #funny videos, #angry, #yell, #mouth open, #privacy, #guess, #hurts

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "100% of your email messages this month involved links to funny videos." Wally says, "The company is violating my right to privacy! This is an outrage!" Catbert says, "Actually, I was just guessing." Wally says, "It still hurts."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #consult, #customer data, #money, #privacy, #real name, #wag tail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert Consults Dogbert says, "Your customer data is worth a fortune." Dogbert says, "I'll find you some buyers if you give me 25%." CEO says, "What about privacy?" Dogbert says, "That's not a problem. I never use my real name."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #offcie, #meeting, #privacy, #geographically dependant, #benchmark test, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Dilbert, come to my office for a minute." Dilbert: "What's in your office?" The boss: "You and I will be there." Dilbert: "If you just want to talk, we can do it right here and save us both some time." The boss: "Maybe we need privacy, did you ever think of that?" Dilbert: "Do we need it?" The Boss: "No, that was just an example. There are many, many reasons why we should talk in my office." Dilbert: "I'll be fascinated to find out what kind of information is geographically dependent." The Boss: "Now, do you have the results from the Benchmark Tests?" Dilbert: "Yup. In my cubicle."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #surveillance, #terrorists, #film colonoscpy, #video, #hide in caves, #violation of privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert says the government wants me to film my colonoscopy and give them the video so they can check for terrorists. Catbert: That makes perfect sense. Terrorists come in all sizes and they like to hide in caves. Boss: It seems like a violation of my privacy. Catbert: Whose side are you on?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #takes picture, #flash spot, #vision, #place ads, #little spot, #huge personal violation, #your privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: When someone takes your picture, the flash spot stays in your vision for a few seconds. I want you to figure out how to place ads on that little spot. Dilbert: That would be a huge personal violation. CEO: Bah! You said the same thing when we took your privacy.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

Government Wants Access To Data

Thank you for voting.
Government Wants Access To Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #big business, #terrorism

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.

Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software

Thank you for voting.
Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #encryption, #security, #human error, #secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.