Search Results for "proof"
Share October 02, 1994's comic on:
"Dogbert! Come here! I've done it!" "I created a mathematical proof of the existence of God!" "Give it to me." "This is a job for the world's smartest garbage man." "What can I do for you, Dogbert?" "Check this math." "Clever...but he transposed some variables. This proves the existence of his dog." "Now we know YOU exist and I must exist because 'I think, therefore I am'." "But since Dilbert wasn't thinking when he made his error, there's no proof that HE exists." "Hey!" "Did you just hear something, Dogbert?" "There's no way to be sure."
Share January 20, 2001's comic on:
THE "EXACTLY" MAN: Alice says to Randy, "Everything you said in the meeting was wrong. Here's the proof." Randy whirls on Alice and exclaims, "Exactly!!" Randy sits with folded arms as Alice says, "Okay, I'm not even sure that was a humanoid response."
Share January 29, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: Your problem is that you have too many losers on the payroll. Luckily I have developed a fool-proof DNA test for identifying losers. Well, I'm afraid your DNA doesn't match mine, loser.
Share August 23, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: "When I was a boy, I dreamed of one day working in a fabric-covered box." "I'm living proof that dreams can come true." "Women don't like winners either."
Share April 26, 2013's comic on:
Asok: I have a fool-proof plan for success. I will read a book on how rich people think. Then I will start thinking this way. Book: Rich people think about their shoes a log. Asok: I can do that!
Share March 21, 2011's comic on:
Share May 04, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk with paper and a calculator. Dilbert says, "Ah hah! Just as I suspected." Dilbert shows Dogbert a piece of paper and says, "Here it is: mathematical proof that attractive single women exist only in white Volkswagen Rabbits and aerobics classes." Dogbert asks, "How do you explain Vanna White?" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I wonder if Isaac Newton had a dog." Dogbert adds, "Or a girlfriend."
Share September 05, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table in front an easel. Ratbert says, "Tell me what you think, and don't try to spare my feelings." Dogbert says, "It's a hideous compost of random colors. It seems both hackneyed and poorly executed. It's an embarrassing proof of your utter lack of talent." Dogbert continues, "As for you personally, spend some time on a 'Stairmaster.'" Ratbert says angrily, "Stick to the art, please!"
Share September 26, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert hands a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "Here is photo proof that I completed my hit-man contract on Dilbert." The man replies, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Here he is, sitting lifeless in his stuffed chair." The man looks at the picture and says, "It looks like he's just watching television." Dogbert says, "Technically, my contract doesn't say I must kill him. It says I must 'prove he has no life.'"
Share December 02, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits on his couch watching television. A voice on the tv says, "Does your boss give you orders and later deny it? Do you get in trouble for doing what you're told?" On the tv, Dogbert sits at a desk while Ratbert holds a video camera. Dogbert says, "The 'Dogbert Detective Agency' will videotape it all and embarrass your boss with proof!" Back in the office, the Boss reads a document and says, "What??! Why did you do this??!" Dilbert stands in front his desk holding a videotape and says, "This is the happiest moment of my career." Dogbert says, "Lights!"