Search Results for "prove underling wrong"
Share June 19, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: I'm on my way to a meeting. Follow me. We'll walk and talk. Dilbert: I don't see how this can possibly work. You can barely concentrate when you're sitting perfectly still. When you add the extra complexity of walking, it's like asking a squirrel to land a 747. Boss: Must... prove underling... wrong... Noise: BONK! Dilbert: I didn't know that being right could feel so good.
Share June 18, 2014's comic on:
Jeff had to prove everyone wrong. That will never work. It was like a reflex. He couldn't stop. That's the worst idea I have ever heard. This was his last day of life. Alice: You can't jump off the roof right now. Jeff: Uh-oh.
Share November 15, 1998's comic on:
The Boss holds up a piece of paper and says, "From now on, the organization chart will not be distributed." The Boss crumples up a piece of paper and says, "And the internal phone lists will be shredded." The Boss continues, "This will prevent headhunters from easily picking us clean." Wally asks, "Why would headhunters call US?" The Boss explains, "They want to steal you away and double your pay at another company." Wally says, "What makes you think we won't leave on our own anyway?" The Boss replies, "Because working here drains all your initiative." Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and says, "Let's prove him wrong." Dilbert says, "Yeah! I'm NOT shredding my phone list!"
Share August 13, 2006's comic on:
"When do I need to give the specs to the programmers?" "They don't need them." "Why? Is it because they already know what to do?" "Yes, exactly. They know how to do that part." "Well, now I have a difficult choice." "I could call the programmers, prove you wrong, and suffer the consequences in a thousand subtle ways..." "Or I could do nothing and wait to get hosed for not providing the specs on time." "Geez. You complain when I don't give you choices too."
Share August 26, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: Experts say you need a great team to get great results. We're going to prove them wrong because our team is an inexperienced intern, a useless guy, a corps in an exoskeleton and me. Wally: That conflicts with my plan to prove the experts right.
Share June 16, 2016's comic on:
Man: I'm a social justice warrior. That means I'm on our side. Do you want to go to dinner with me? Alice: No, thanks. I'm into men. Man: I am a man. Alice: Don't make me turn around and prove you wrong.
Share October 26, 2011's comic on:
Boss: Our CEO needs an underling to drink our industrial sludge at a press conference to prove it's safe. Asok: Um... is there some reason he doesn't do it himself? Boss: Yes, but I forget the details. It was something about the risk of brain worms.
Share January 27, 2018's comic on:
Tina: People keep telling me you refuse to admit when you are wrong. Dilbert: It only looks that way because Im right most off the time and people are too dumb to know it. Tina: wow! They're right about you being a narcissist, too. Dilbert: I refuse to admit I'm wrong about this.
Share March 25, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."
Share February 15, 2011's comic on:
The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?