Search Results for "psychological disorder"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #psychological evaluation, #psychological disorder, #perfection, #criticism, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: I should warn you that I'm a perfectionist. Dilbert: I appreciate the warning. Do you have any other psychological problems or just the one? Coworker: I don't think of it as a "problem." Dilbert: I guess that's what makes it so bad. I see a lot of other psychological problems in your writing. Cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, and some projection bias. But I can see why you think your perfectionism is the worst part. Coworker: You're a jerk. Dilbert: ...and here come the anger issues.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1992's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I haven't dated much since I came down with puppetitis." The woman continues, "It's a rare disorder that makes your hand act like a puppet." Dilbert replies, "That's weird." The woman moves her hand like a puppet and says, "He hates us! We must kill him!" The woman says to her hand, "Not yet, Ginger!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 1993's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "I have a chance to be promoted to 'Technology Prima Donna' if I can develop a personality disorder." Dilbert says, "I don't know how a person can learn that sort of thing." Dogbert replies, "It's easy." Dogbert explains, "Imagine Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man.' Now add a dash of Sean Penn meeting a paparazzo." Dilbert clenches his fists and says, "Grrr . . . . Mumble . . . Grrr . . . "

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2001's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert is sitting on his desk. He says, "Your psychological profile test results are excellent. Can you start Monday?" A hairy, half dressed man carrying a knife replies, "Monday is fine. I'll read the employee handbook over the weekend." The hairy man says to Dilbert and Alice, "The 'gentle biker' look is overdone. I'm going for 'psycho hillbilly.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2003's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, how do I handle the psychological pressure of a stalled career?" "Remember that when you reach for the stars, they're too far away, so it's hopeless." "But sometimes you can reach a star.. can't you?" "That would burn your hand clean off."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Smokin' Jim "I've got a nicotine addiction, a tiny bladder, and attention deficit disorder." "So talk fast because I can't focus for more than ten seconds." "Gaa! I have to give that warning faster!!!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Give me a sand wedge. "This sandwich is all I have for lunch. You can take my pride but not my sandwich!" "I think I'm losing the psychological advantage with my foursome." mmmph chew-chew-chew! hee-hee!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2007's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

My doctor says it will be easier if I diet with a buddy. Do you want in on this? "Good lord. I think I just developed an eating disorder!" "They say the first 20 pounds are the easiest." "NOT HELPING!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies show it takes ten thousand hours of practice to be great at anything. Dogbert: I would think a willingness to practice the same thing for ten thousand hours is a mental disorder. Dilbert: That makes me feel better about my mediocrity. Dogbert: You're welcome.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2008's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Go to human resources for a psychological evaluation." Dilbert says, "Why??? Have I said anything that is abnormal?" The Boss says, "You're an engineer. Everything you say is abnormal." Catbert says, "Question one: How many bodies are hidden in the crawl space under your house?" Dilbert says, "If they are hidden, how would I know?" Catbert says, "Well, maybe you would smell them." Dilbert says, "Not if they were wrapped in heavy plastic and sealed in concrete." Wally says, "How'd it go?" Dilbert says, "Not so good."