Search Results for "public relations"
Share July 29, 2010's comic on:
Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "The public won't forgive you until you fake some remorse." Dogbert says, "These glasses have a hose that leads to a pumping station and a huge reservoir of fake tears." CEO says, "If we have another press conference, we should crack open a window."
Share December 07, 2016's comic on:
Boss: We hired The Dogbert Public Relations Firm to help us with our exploding phone problem. Dogbert: We have two choices. We can either recall all of the phones, or we can convince people that having one ear is cool. Boss: Recalls are expensive. Dogbert: Okay, the Van Gogh strategy it is.
Share October 03, 2017's comic on:
Narrator: Dogbert the public relations specialist. Dogbert: The public hates you for all the right reasons. I'll repair your public image by photographing you serving meals in a homeless shelter. CEO: Is the public really that dumb? Dogbert: Yup. I'll have you out of there in two scoops and a click.
Share October 05, 2017's comic on:
CEO: The public doesn't believe I really helped serve food at the homeless shelter. Dogbert: Tell them pictures don't lie. CEO: Pictures lie all the time. In fact, that's the best way to lie. Dogbert: Keep that insight to yourself. CEO: I have a full head of hair on Tinder.
Share August 07, 2011's comic on:
Tags #business ethics
Boss: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm. His job is to persuade the media to write negative stories about our competitor. Dilbert: Is that ethical? Dogbert: I assure you that your competitor is doing the same thing to you. They're paying a public relations firm a fortune to steer the media toward defaming your company. Dilbert: Who did they hire to defame us. Dogbert: Probably someone awesome.
Share April 12, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk, reading a newspaper. Dilbert says, "The pundits in the press are nailing us for shipping a keyboard with no 'Q.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a public-relations fiasco. Obviously, we need an engineering solution. I'm on the case." Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Users could use a graphics program to draw a 'Q' in the unlikely event that they need one." Wally says, "Or we could replace the semi-colon; nobody uses them."
Share May 23, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert says to the Boss, "My salary depends on your opinion of my work. But you have no interest in understanding what I do, so . . ." Dogbert enters carrying a briefcase. Dilbert gestures toward him and says, "I hired the Dogbert Public Relations Firm to hype my performance and get me a big raise." Dogbert hands the Boss a document and says, "Press release: engineer cures cancer while saving baby from burning building." The Boss says, "That's not in his objectives."
Share January 30, 2004's comic on:
"Dogbert does PR." "You knew your product was deadly but you did nothing until you were sued." "The goal of public relations is to taint the jury pool, we'll show that the victims had it coming." "Maybe we should discuss the moral implications of that strategy." "Bah!"
Share February 19, 2007's comic on:
"I hired the Dogbert public relations firm to get us some free publicity." "I've already told the media that your products are deadly and we're voluntarily recalling everything." "But...they aren't deadly." "Hey, I don't tell you how to be fat." snork
Share February 20, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert does public relations "Our products are made by asthmatic dwarves. You should do a story on that." "Not enough? Okay, what if the dwarves are also polygamous serial killers?" "When you talk to the reporter, try to slouch, wheeze, and act henpicked to the point of homicide."