Search Results for "question motives"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #battery technology, #question motives, #transformation, #lying, #avoid work, #manual labor

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Dilbert says to a female co-worker, "No known battery technology can handle this load and be this size." The female co-worker folds her arms as Dilbert says, "That's not what you wanted to hear." The female co-worker grimaces as Dilbert says, "So your mind will erase what I said..." Dilbert continues, "... And replace the memory with something totally ridiculous so you can question my motives." The female co-worker grunts, "Gaah!" Dilbert thinks, "The transformation is complete." The female co-worker exclaims, "How can you say there's no such thing as a battery?!" The female co-worker berates Dilbert, "You're lying to avoid work! I'm going to talk to your boss!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor." Dogbert says, "You're preaching to the choir."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #meat, #question and answer, #meat bags, #boss and emplyee, #realtionship, #office

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Dilbert says, "In this country, it is customary to respond to a question with somehting called an 'answer.'" Dilbert says, "Your approach is more like what I would expect to see if clothing were used as bags for meat." Dilbert says, "Now I will ask my question a seventh time..." The Boss says, "Stop saying what you're thinking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #embarrassment, #not judeg, #quality of question, #technical

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Man: ... and so, that's my question. Dilbert: I try to not judge people by the quality of the technical questions they ask. Man: Is it working? Dilbert: Not even a little.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #next is lie, #personnel officers, #planning layoffs, #questioning, #repeat question, #communication styles, #pattern of talking

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Dilbert: Are you planning layoffs? Boss: Am I planning layoffs? Dilbert: When you repeat my question it means the next thing you say will be a lie. Go. Boss: I love your stinkin' guts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #quick question, #only on line, #slapping, #less risk, #dumb thing

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Tina: Wally, I have a quick question. Wally: Hold it. Stop right there. I only collaborate online, where there's less risk of some angry nut job slapping me. Tina: That's the dumbest thing... Wally: Gaaa!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1989's comic on:


Tags #money, #pet, #question

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Dilbert sits at the table reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Which would you prefer: winning a million bucks or getting hit in the lips with a dead mole while you sleep?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . The money." Dogbert says, "Well, that's too bad, because you didn't win a million bucks." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "That's the kind of hypothetical question that can keep you up all night."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 1999's comic on:


Tags #answer phone, #trick question, #meeting, #better get this, #phone rings, #ignores boss call

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The boss comes up behind Wally who sits at his desk. The boss says, "Wally, I've been calling you for two hours! Why don't you answer your phone?" Wally says, "Is that a trick question?" The boss says, "Wally, unless your in a meeting.." The phone rings. Wally says, "Hold on. I'd better get this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1999's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #queue, #loser, #speak to superior, #religious debate, #question

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A man sits in front of his computer and talks on the phone. He says, "Finally! I've been in the tech support queue for an hour!" Dogbert says, "Loser." The man says, "Can I speak to your superior?" Dogbert says, "There's some religious debate on that question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #online self assessment, #survey, #program, #question blank, #says you steal, #bad advice

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Dilbert says to Catbert, "I can't complete the online self-assessment survey. It asks where I need improvement and I don't need any." Dilbert continues, "The program won't let me leave that question blank." Catbert responds, "Just check the box that says you steal." Dilbert responds, "And people will understand that I don't mean it?" Catbert grins and says, "Sure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #actual question, #delivery, #fantasize, #imaginary one, #plastic casing, #ripping moustache, #two week

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Dilbert: Did you order the plastic casings I need? They take two weeks for delivery. DIlbert: I see that you've cleverly avoided my actual question in favor of an imaginary one involving delivery times. Now Im fantasizing about ripping off your mustache and using it to shine your head. I hear that a lot.