Search Results for "randy is idiot"
Share January 14, 2001's comic on:
A female employee says, "I have the results of the Employee Personality Type Preferences." Dilbert, sitting at a table with Randy and Alice, says, "Remind me again why we're doing this." The female employee says, "Your teamwork will be better when you understand that you have different styles of thinking." Randy sits and listens as the female employee says to Dilbert, "For example, Dilbert prefers to use logic to solve problems." Dilbert looks at Randy as the female employee says, "But Randy relies more heavily on morals and values to solve problems." Randy's eyes grow wide as Dilbert says, "That sounds like a fancy way of saying Randy is an idiot." Dilbert and Alice look at Randy as Randy says, "Oh, yeah? Well, I might be an idiot but you're illogical." Dilbert and Alice pat Randy on the shoulders as Randy says, "That didn't sound as menacing as I had hoped." Dilbert says, "It's okay." Alice says, "We understand."
Share May 18, 2011's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm considering becoming an idiot so I can get the health benefits of happiness. It comes with a social stigma, but that's not a problem if I'm not aware that I'm an idiot. I feel healthy today, so there's a good chance I already made the transition. Dogbert: Yep.
Share February 05, 2011's comic on:
Man says, "There is a very simple solution to the problem that is stumping Dilbert." Man says, "I will gladly explain it to him after this meeting." Dilbert says, "You're probably wrong, and yet you still made me look like an idiot." Man says, "I win!"
Share October 02, 2011's comic on:
Boss: The servers are down. Dilbert: I know. Boss: You should do something about it. Dilbert: I'm trying. Boss: What's the holdup? Dilbert: I keep getting interrupted by an unhelpful idiot. Boss: Maybe I can help. I'll guard your doorway and keep that guy away from you. This is boring. And I don't see that guy. Have I managed enough for now? Dilbert: You nailed it.
Share November 05, 2011's comic on:
Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.
Share December 11, 2011's comic on:
Boss: These are our 25 focus areas for next year. Asok: Ha ha! Good one. Sometimes I think you have no sense of humor and then zing! What? Dilbert: I think it's real. Asok: It can't be real. No one would be dumb enough to think we can focus on 25 areas. Don't worry. I've got this. This misunderstood man is a brilliant comedian. He is only pretending to be an angry idiot. You're totally selling it.
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Share October 09, 1995's comic on:
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We'll succeed if we understand who our competitors really are!" Wally says, "My competition is Dilbert and Alice, with whom I compete for salary increases and rare promotion opportunities." The Boss says, "I meant our external competition." Wally says, "Tell me again what we make." Dilbert whispers to Wally, "No raise for you, idiot boy."
Share April 17, 1996's comic on:
The secretary reads a document and says to the Boss, "Oh my! This is shocking!" The Boss asks, "What?" The secretary says, "40% of all sick days taken by your staff are Fridays and Mondays!" The Boss walks away saying, "What kind of idiot do they think I am?" The secretary says, "Not an idiot savant. They can do math."
Share June 19, 1996's comic on:
The Boss says to Wally and Alice, "Some idiot stood on a chair and fell off." The Boss continues, "Now we all have to take twelve hours of chair safety training." Wally and Alice wince. During training Alice, Wally and the Boss watch a man standing on his head and spinning on a chair. The Boss whispers, "Is that a 'do' or a 'not do?'"