Search Results for "ratbert at meeting"
Share May 09, 1994's comic on:
Dogbert: The Dogbert Consulting Company will plot a new course for your business. My consultants are so smart that their brains don't fit in their heads, They have to start the extra brains to their torsos. Ratbert: why do I need a piece of liver strapped to my torso? Dogbert: I got a little carried away at the pitch meeting.
Share December 15, 1994's comic on:
Ratbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I didn't get the job in marketing. They say I have no experience." Dogbert responds, "Try inviting yourself to meetings. Nobody ever says no, and they're too timid to kick you out once you sit down." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Ratbert stands on the table next to a box of donuts and says, "Does anybody want to split a donut? I'll just take half and leave the rest."
Share August 17, 1995's comic on:
The Boss is surprised to see Ratbert hanging in midair. Ratbert says, "Don't be alarmed. I'm not really a rat floating in midair." Ratbert continues, "I'm clinging to the back of an employee who has been rendered invisible by a long succession of worthless assignments." The Boss comments, "Looks like an isolated case of bad attitude." Behind the Boss, a beaver is suspended in midair. The beaver asks, "Which room is the 'quality' meeting in?"
Share December 17, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Alice, Ratbert, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're going to replace our computer support systems with the Elbonian database product." The Boss gestures toward Ratbert and continues, "It's risky, but don't worry. I've hired an outrageously expensive consultant who has never done this before." Ratbert says to Wally, "I earned five hundred dollars just coming to this meeting. How's YOUR day going?" Wally replies, "It won't make my top ten."
Share June 12, 1994's comic on:
Ratbert: My name is Ratbert. I fear the information superhighway. Like most of you, my problem started because I never learned to type. I thought only secretaries needed to type. Then the computers came. At first I dismissed them as mere toys for men with no social skills. Soon they were everywhere. I would invent elaborate excuses to avoid computers. I was caught in my own web of deception. MAN: This is "alcoholics anonymous" Ratbert: I didn't interrupt you. Man: Can we talk about me now?
Share June 18, 2003's comic on:
The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."
Share July 31, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert says to a rat, "If you're going to live here, you need a name." The rat asks, "How about 'Mickey?'" Dogbert replies, "No . . . Big trouble. How about 'Rodney the Rodent?'" The rat asks, "How about 'Bill the Rat?'" Dogbert asks, "Vernon the Vermin?" The rat says, "Ratbert."
Share May 02, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits in a chair and Ratbert sits on the hassock. Ratbert says, "There's a terrible stigma to being a rat . . ." Ratbert continues, "I once painted a pouch on my stomach and told people I was a tiny kangaroo." Ratbert continues, "That's when I found out that people hate tiny kangaroos."
Share May 13, 1991's comic on:
Ratbert walks along thinking, "I should go visit my old friend, Dogbert." Ratbert thinks, "I can get there in five days if I hurry." Ratbert walks through a maze in a lab. He thinks, "Lucky he's only a block away."
Share May 15, 1991's comic on:
Ratbert and Dogbert sit on a hassock. Ratbert says, "All this week I've been testing Madonna's 'Compulsion' perfume at the lab." Dogbert asks, "Any side effects?" Ratbert replies, "Heck no . . . Unless you consider marrying a bunsen burner a 'side effect.'" Ratbert asks, "Say . . . Who's that cute little filly on the table?!" Dogbert responds, "We call her the lamp."