Search Results for "ratbert the consultant"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ratbert the consultant, #analytical mind, #business consultant, #socially dysfunctional, #brought in, #consulatant

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert the Consultant Dogbert: It takes more than a brilliant analytical mind to be a business consultant, You also need to be arrogant and socially dysfunctional, Ratbert: Does anybody know what a consultant was brought in to do your thinking? anybody? anbbody?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #ratbert the consultant, #newest partner, #least desirable assisngments, #consultant cannon, #monitor progress

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Ratbert the consultant. Man in suspenders says, "As our newest partner, you'll get the least desireable assignments." Man in suspenders says, "We'll load you in the consultant cannon, shoot you to the client's site and monitor your progress." He loads Ratbert, who wears a hemlet, into a cannon. Ratbert says, "The window is more to the left." The man moves the cannon. The man in suspenders says, "The client is more to the right."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1996's comic on:


Tags #computer support, #elbonian data base, #expensive consultant, #five hundred dollars, #meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Ratbert, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're going to replace our computer support systems with the Elbonian database product." The Boss gestures toward Ratbert and continues, "It's risky, but don't worry. I've hired an outrageously expensive consultant who has never done this before." Ratbert says to Wally, "I earned five hundred dollars just coming to this meeting. How's YOUR day going?" Wally replies, "It won't make my top ten."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #highly paid, #150 per hour, #ideal career, #unproductive

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert leans on Wally's monitor and says, "As a consultant, I earn $150 per hour even when I'm unproductive." Ratbert continues, "I can earn 42 cents by wiggling my furry little behind for ten seconds." Ratbert shouts, "C'mon, count with me!!!" Wally tells Dilbert, "When I imagine my ideal career, it's never like this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #business startegy, #example, #good strategy, #learn, #panty hose, #ratbert the consultant, #walmarts

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Ratbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "'Wal-Mart's' business strategy was very successful. You can learn from their example." Alice asks, "Does their strategy involve sitting around and making irrelevant comparisons to other companies?" Ratbert replies, "All I know for sure is that they don't let rats try on all the pantyhose in the store." Wally says, "Good strategy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #rather the consultant, #200k per year

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Ratbert the Consultant. Ratbert sits at a conference table between a man and a woman. Ratbert says, "I'm making $200,000 per year!" Ratbert whistles. Ratbert says, "Apparently that's all I know." The man and the woman look annoyed.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #configure software, #consultant, #doohickey, #vendor

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our vendor sent us a consultant to help configure the software. We can tell how important we are by looking at the consultant they assigned to us. RatBert: The word that comes to mind is doohickey."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #consulting company, #new course, #business, #extra brains, #liver, #ratbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The Dogbert Consulting Company will plot a new course for your business. My consultants are so smart that their brains don't fit in their heads, They have to start the extra brains to their torsos. Ratbert: why do I need a piece of liver strapped to my torso? Dogbert: I got a little carried away at the pitch meeting.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all assignments, #big binder, #same building, #president, #good word, #two good words

View Transcript

Transcript

"Ratbert the consultant" "It looks like you've all done your assignments for me." "Your input is so important that I'll have it put in a big binder in stored in the same building that your president works!" "And I'll put in a good word for you when I meet with your boss later today." "Wink, thumbs up" "How about two good words?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #birds and bees, #get stung, #birds, #humming bird, #sex with birds, #words to say

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: "Dogbert told me about the birds and the bees." "The bee part confuses me. It seems like I'd get stung." "And as for birds, I just wouldn't know the words to say." Dilbert: "Try a humming bird."