Search Results for "reduce decisions"

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Tube Clothing Or Rug

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Tube Clothing Or Rug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #clothes, #clothing, #insult, #nerd, #nerds, #style, #tube clothes, #invented style, #reduce decisions, #carpet, #wrapped

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Dilbert: Tube clothes! I invented that style! Did it reduce the number of decisions you need to make every day? Man: I'm just a guy wrapped in a carpet. Dilbert: Oh, I thought you were like me. Man: I don't have to take these insults.

Dilbert Reduces Decisions

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Dilbert Reduces Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2014's comic on:


Tags #attractive, #clothes, #clothing, #dating, #deciding, #decisions, #eliminates decisons, #fine tuning, #system, #tube clothes

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Dilbert: I only wear tube clothes now because it reduces my number of daily decisions. Tina: You mean decisions such as... where to go on a date? Because I don't see that coming up. Dilbert: I'm still fine-tuning the system.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #health insurance, #reduce expenses, #radiation dosimeters, #wrongness, #policy

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Boss: The company is trying to reduce expenses, so you need to pay for your own radiation dosimeters. Dilbert: We'll just stare at you until you understand the wrongness of that policy. Boss: Still nothing. One hour later

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #monsters, #office equipment, #email servers, #ancestral hime, #reduce expenses, #data vampires, #exagerration, #fiber optic

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I.T. person: I moved our email servers to my ancestral home of Transylbonia to reduce expenses. You might have heard rumors that all Transylbonians are data vampires, but I assure you it's an exaggeration. There's this one guy, Doug..." Transylbonian: Dude! It's fiber-optic! Doug: It's really not my thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #Family, #work from home, #2 days err week, #reduce carbon foorprint, #wife, #small children, #egg carton, #talking to moron

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Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #club, #bad decisions, #embarassed, #disguise, #mustache

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Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's society for people who always make bad decisions." Dogbert says, "I'd like to thank each of you for choosing the platinum stain protection plan with your membership dues." Dogbert says, "If your reputations gets stained by being in this group, the brochure will teach you how grow a mustache disguise." <Man says, "What if I already have one?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cost estimate, #deny, #numbers, #manipulate, #decisions, #hurt, #typing at computer, #humming noise, #annoy, #go away, #angry face, #home, #sitting on couch

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Coworker says, "Can I get a rough cost estimate for the design phase?" Dilbert says, "No. I don't trust you with numbers." Coworker says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You're the kind of guy who will remove useful qualifiers and distribute a figure as if it is true in all cases." Dilbert says, "Decisions will be made. People will get hurt." Dilbert says, "For everyone's sake, the safest thing I can do is make an annoying humming sound until you go away." Dilbert says, "Hummmmm-mmmmmmmmm-mmmmm." Dilbert says, "Half of life is making people go away." Dogbert says, "Humm-mmmm"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2007's comic on:


Tags #career day, #classroom, #guest speaker, #Dilbert, #engineering, #tells all, #explaining things, #to idiots, #make decisions, #misinterpreting, #massic=ve problems, #rumors overwhelm, #assign blame, #unpopular

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Career Day Teacher: "Class, today Dilbert will tell us what a career in engineering is all about." Dilbert: "My job involves explaining things to idiots.""Then the idiots make decisions based on misinterpreting what I said." "Then it is my job to try and fix the massive problems caused by the bad decisions." "Eventually rumors overwhelm facts, and I give up." "In the final phase, I assign blame to a unpopular coworker." "So whatever you do in life don't be unpopular." Teacher: "Don't listen to him!" Dilbert: "Said the unpopular teacher."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #thinking, #intuition, #make decisions

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Dilbert: I wonder if I should rely more on my intuition to make decisions. Dogbert: You mean guessing? Dilbert: No. Guessing is totally different from intuition because of the... um... These things make sense in my head! Dogbert: Is there room in there with all of the intuition?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #change recommendation, #approval, #feel ownership, #feel you own me, #ignorant decisions, #more clear, #agreement

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Boss: Change your recommendation to the opposite of what you wrote and send it to me for approval. Dilbert: Why do I need approval for the thing you just approved? Boss: I want you to feel some ownership. Dilbert: I already feel that you own me. Boss: I mean that I want you to feel ownership of the recommendation. Dilbert: How can I feel ownership of your ignorant decisions? Boss: By getting my approval for them. I can't be more clear. Dilbert: At least we agree on that.