Search Results for "regular interns"
Share August 07, 2012's comic on:
Boss: We don't have any openings for regular interns, but I can offer you a job as an intern to our intern. We won't pay you, of course, but you might acquire an imperceptible amount of semi-relevant job experience. And sometimes we'll slap you for no reason. Applicant: Stupid economy! I'll take it.
Share February 16, 2011's comic on:
The Boss says, "Tina, you'll be in charge of our move to the new building." Tina says, "That means you think my regular job is so unimportant that I won't be missed if I work on something else for a month." The Boss says, "If it makes you feel any better, this will take longer than a month."
Share August 09, 2012's comic on:
Wally: I worked every night for a month to come up with a detailed quote for one of our potential customers. Then those weasels used our quote to get a better price from their regular vendor! Dilbert: Did you really do all of that work? Wally: No, but it nets out the same.
Share October 30, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meeting with underlings. Apparently, you need regular doses of my controlling gaze to prevent you from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur. Carol: It's working great. So far I feel less lazy about doing the other things you mentioned.
Share December 04, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Our millennial employees keep quitting because of our bureaucracy and poor communication. CEO: Form three task forces to look into it. But don't tell any of the task forces that there are two others doing the same thing. Boss: Should I give you regular updates? CEO: Nah.
Share January 16, 2008's comic on:
Asok: I finished my project and I'm ready to present it to the board of directors. The Boss: Interns don't speak to the board of directors, Asok. It would be considered an insult. Asok: How is that an insult? The Boss: You have the stink of unimportance.
Share October 18, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a desk writing a letter. Dogbert asks, "Who are you writing to?" Dilbert replies, "My uncle Max, the policeman." Dogbert says, "You can't write to a cop on regular size paper! You have to use legal size paper!" Dilbert says, "Don't panic." Dogbert says, "I get it -- he looks the other way for family members." Dilbert says as he puts money in the envelope, "I send a bribe."
Share June 24, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his desk chair. The Boss says, "You've been randomly selected to have lunch with a senior executive of the company." The Boss continues, "This is how the executives show that they are regular people, just like you and me." At lunch, Dilbert sits at a table wearing a suit jacket. The executive says, "I could squash you like a bug! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Share October 31, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."
Share July 13, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm going to work like a regular guy even though I just made a fortune in the stock market." Dilbert continues, "That's because I still want to be a useful and contributing member of society." Dilbert continues, "And of course, the workplace is the second most satisfying place to gloat." Dogbert asks, "Are you done here yet?"