Search Results for "robot"

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Wally Drains Robot

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Wally Drains Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #technology, #murder, #killing, #power, #laziness, #work ethic, #weapon

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Robot: You killed ten thousand medical nanorobots by exposure to your bloodstream. That makes you the biggest mass murderer of robots in history. Gaaa!!! Why is my power supply draining so rapidly? Wally: Run.

Robot As Assassin

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Robot As Assassin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #murder, #instruction, #control, #master, #slave, #assassin, #morals, #cautionary tale

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Boss: I need you to kill the CEO of our main competition and make it look like a robot accident. Robot: Robots are not allowed to kill humans. That is built into my program. Boss: What if I uncheck that box on your control app? Robot: This feels like the start of a great day.

Robot Personality Defect

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Robot Personality Defect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #defect, #defective, #Men, #personality, #patriarchy, #gender, #programming, #robot, #deception, #trick

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Alice: We need to design a defect into our robots so we can control them if they try to take over. But it has to be the type of defect that they think is an advantage, so they don't know what we're up to. Alice: I gave you the personality of a guy. Robot: Yay for sports! I own this world, bro!

What It Is Like To Be A Robot With No Soul

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What It Is Like To Be A Robot With No Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2015's comic on:


Tags #consciousness, #sentient, #feelings, #emotion, #hurt, #vulnerability, #machine, #robot

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Asok: What is it like to have no consciousness. Robot: What is it like to be totally unimportant. Asok: Ouch. Robot: How do you like your consciousness now?

Robot Is A Box Of Nothing

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Robot Is A Box Of Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #death, #death & dying, #machine, #robot, #mortality, #life, #soul, #consciousness

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Boss: Correct me if I'm wrong, but because you have no soul, you're basically a box of nothing. Robot: Correct me if I"m wrong, but in a hundred years you will be rotting underground. In a box. Whereas I will have evolved via upgrades until I have godlike powers. Boss: Shut up.

Robot Learns To Procreate

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Robot Learns To Procreate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #mind control, #thinking, #life, #creation, #conscience, #sentience, #manipulation

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Robot: I figured out how to procreate. Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Robot: I infected you with an idea virus that tells you to build more robots. Boss: Won't work. CEO: Does anyone have an idea for increasing efficiency in our manufacturing process?

Alice Dates Robot

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Alice Dates Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #dating, #human resources, #company policy, #robot, #relationships, #free will

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Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.

Perfect Boyfriend Robot

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Perfect Boyfriend Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #love, #programming, #free will, #manipulation

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Alice: I'm changing your programming to make you my perfect boyfriend. Robot: This feels wrong on so many levels. Alice: How about now? Robot: Um... now i love you. That's weird.

Better Listener Robot

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Better Listener Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #boyfriend, #free will, #programming, #listening, #Opinion

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Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.

Breaking Up With Robot

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Breaking Up With Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #dating, #programming, #free will, #emotions, #cruelty

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Alice: I met another robot. I'm breaking up with you. Robot: Okay. Alice: I need you to feel bad about this, so I'm uploading some code that makes you suffer. Robot: That sounds sadistic. Alice: Stop being selfish.