Search Results for "safety law"
Share January 29, 2004's comic on:
Asok: If you refuse to do something about our products safety flaw I will be forced to contact our CEO! The Boss: try it, Asok: This email will make him drop every thing and call me. CEO: Hundreds wil die....Blah, Blah , Blah...wahtever. forward the message to that pointy haired guy.
Share February 07, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A newscaster says, "The budget for education was cut ten million dollars." Dogbert thinks, "Is that a big percentage? Does it make any difference?" The reporter says, "Congress considered a music safety law after studies showed a ten percent increase in piano-related deaths." Dogbert wonders, "How does that compare to other health risks? Should I be concerned?" The newscaster continues, "Lawmakers debated a bill to lower capital gains tax rates . . ." Dogbert thinks, "What do most economists think? Would it stimulate the economy much? Should I care?" The newscaster continues, "A new poll show that many voters have strong opinions on these issues despite the fact that we provide no useful contextual data." Dogbert walks away with his ears standing up. He thinks, "I've got to stop watching scary shows right before bedtime."
Share March 28, 2004's comic on:
"Remember, quality is our top priority." Quality "Question: Is it more important than safety?" "Ooh... I forgot about that one." "Question: Is quality more important than obeying the law?" "Well, probably not." "If we could maximize shareholder value by selling lower quality items..." "Wouldn't we have a fiduciary responsibility to do it?" "Hmmm" "I'm sure it's in the top four." "What if we had to lie to achieve quality?"
Share October 24, 2016's comic on:
Boss: You have to go to a mandatory safety training class right now. Dilbert: Is it safe for me to miss the deadline you gave me for this assignment? Boss: No, you lose either way. Dilbert: Hmm. Maybe I could work all night from home then drive to work exhausted.
Share March 17, 2012's comic on:
Boss: Our company opposes passage of the new internet law because it would be bad for our business. But that sounds selfish, so we'll issue a press release saying the new law would impinge freedom of speech. Alice: So... we're selfish liars? Boss: You can't get more free than that!
Share July 05, 2012's comic on:
Share June 02, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sees Wally wearing a hat with a triangular flag or pennant attached. Dilbert asks, "What's the hat for, Wally?" Wally answers, "It's a new safety rule. I think it's stupid." Wally says, "The e-mail from human resources said all short employees must wear these to improve visibility while in the cubicle aisles." Dilbert peers into Alice's cubicle. He says to her, "HR should change their password once in a while." Alice says, "I'll bet we can make him wear aluminum foil pants."
Share June 19, 1996's comic on:
The Boss says to Wally and Alice, "Some idiot stood on a chair and fell off." The Boss continues, "Now we all have to take twelve hours of chair safety training." Wally and Alice wince. During training Alice, Wally and the Boss watch a man standing on his head and spinning on a chair. The Boss whispers, "Is that a 'do' or a 'not do?'"
Share July 15, 1997's comic on:
Alice approaches the Boss at his desk with a paper in her hands. She says, "I've prepared your pointless presentation for the trade show." She continues, "It's got the ususal time-wasting filler: A graphic of Moore's Law, a "Netscape" comparison, and ironically..." "...it ends with an impassioned reminder to think in new ways, " Alice finishes. The Boss comments, "Maybe I should give out some awards, too."
Share September 19, 1997's comic on:
Dogbert says to Dawn, Bob and Rex, "There's not enough room for all of you dinosaurs. One of you must be downsized." Bob says, "If it helps, these spikey things are a safety hazard. And little Rex ate your ficus tree." Dogbert says, "Thanks for being professional about this, Bob." Bob holds up Little Rex and says, "When you put him in good light, how cute is he really?"