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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #affirmations, #garden, #slug, #writing, #salt

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The caption says, "Dogbert continues his reckless experiment with the powerful force of 'affirmations.'" Dilbert watches Dogbert write on a piece of paper and asks, ". . . What if this actually works?" Dilbert asks, "Can you really cause me to be eaten by a garden slug just by writing it down over and over?" Dilbert continues, "What am I saying? Logically, there's no way this could work." Dogbert says, "Don't get too far from salt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #making soup, #highly trained engineer, #sea salt, #regular salt, #marhoram, #parmigiano cheese, #eggs, #hot soup

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Dilbert stands with a chef's hat and a cookbook. He thinks, "Making soup is easy for a highly trained engineer." Dilbert looks in the cabinet and thinks, "I don't seem to have any 'coarse sea salt.'" Dilbert shakes his salt shaker and thinks, "I'll just mix regular salt with water." Dilbert continues reading and thinks, "Corn starch...that's basically flour." He leans into the refriderator and thinks, "Marjoram...I think that's French for butter." Dilbert continues reading, "'Five inches of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese rind.' Uh-oh." Dilbert looks at eggs and says, "Eggs are basically cheese that comes from chickens." Dogbert looks at his slice of steaming hot soup and says, "Is this supposed to be served hot?" Dilbert replies, "You're thinking of gazpacho."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1999's comic on:


Tags #cube farm, #excellent crop, #fatten up, #need salt, #pretzel stick

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The cube farmer stand in the doorway of Dilbert's cube with a rake. The farmer says, "My cube farm has an excellent crop this year." the farmer offers Dilbert a donut on the rake and says, "Here you go, fella. This will fatten you up." The farmer attaches a stick on a hook to Dilbert's cube wall and says, "If you ever need salt, just lick this pretzal stick." Dilbert eats the donut and says, "mmmm... ooh!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #red white shirt, #spilled, #Women, #party, #drink in face, #salt, #lighter fluid, #set on fire, #burned, #not happy, #not popular

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Dilbert is at a cocktail party. A woman says, "You spilled red wine on your shirt." The woman says, "You should dilute it with white wine." A woman throws a glass of wine in Dilberts face and says, "You'll thank me for this later." The woman says, "I think that helped." Another woman approaches. Woman 2 says, "You need salt to absorb it." Woman 2 throws a drink in Dilbert's face and says, "Try my margarita." Women 1 says, "Salt didn't work. Let's try pepper spray." Woman 2 says, "Perhaps lighter fluid..." Woman one sprays pepper spray and says, "No harm in trying." Woman 2 says, "I have one more idea." Dilbert walks into his living room with his shirt burned. dilbert says, "Just once, I'd like to got to a party and not be set on fire." Dogbert says, "There is a stain on your rug."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new hire, #guy, #bothering workers, #love golf, #rain tomorrow, #plans, #sad paper body, #roll in salt, #scoring system

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Man: "I love golf. Golfing is fun. It's a good day to golf. Do you want to go golfing in the rain tomorrow at 6 A.M.?" Wally: "No, thanks. I have plans to sandpaper my entire body and roll around in salt." Man: "I hope no one ever creates a scoring system for that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #mother and son, #cooking, #cooking show, #televsion, #too much salt, #mad mom, #complaining, #mom questions

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Dilmon: Have you made your mother proud by becoming a manager? Dilbert: No Have you made your son proud by hosting a cooking show on television? You could call the show "cooking with too much salt" Dilmon: How did you get this way?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2007's comic on:


Tags #wally refuses, #stop eating, #noisy snacks, #likes salt, #more ethan you, #kelp, #oatmeal

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Tina: I asked Wally to stop eating noisy snacks in his cubicle but he refuses. Catbert: "That's because he likes salt more than he likes you. We all feel the same way." Tina: "What?" CAtbert: "You're somewhere between oatmeal and kelp."

Carol Juggles Work Plus Family

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Carol Juggles Work Plus Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Family, #happiness, #work, #juggle work, #fighting porcupines, #salt mine, #job, #secretary, #business, #psychology

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Dilbert: I don't know how you juggle work plus a family. Carol: Spending time with my family is like fighting porcupines in a salt mine. I come here just to get away from them. Dilbert: So... you like your job? Carol: No, but at least I can go home to get away from it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2011's comic on:


Tags #new year resolutions, #dvr, #geeky science shows, #snore, #asthmatic cow, #impose resolutions, #habit chnagers, #behavior requests

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Dogbert: I made a list of demands for you new year's resolutions. Dilbert: Thous salt not fill up the DVR with geeky science shows. ....Thou shalt not snore like an asthmatic cow.... I didn't know other people could impose resolutions on me, Dogbert: Its a new thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #cop, #under, #arrest, #killing, #senior, #executive, #ear, #corn, #self-defense

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Dilbert opens the door. A police officer points a gun at him and says, "You're under arrest for killing a senior executive of your company with an ear of corn." As the officer frisks him, beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's head and he cries, "It . . . It was self-defense! HE started the food fight! I had just seasoned my corn . . . It was in my hand . . . It was just a reflex!!" The officer says, "The charge is 'a salt and buttering with intent to kill.'"